• the street is filled with dieing humans and paniced people. screams and blood are rolling down the parts of this town that i used to know. my teeth are bared in a ferocious growl that even i didnt know i could make. my hands are bent as if to rip sombodys head off if aproached. i can see my family on the cement riped into barely reccognisable peices, my friends with scratch marks all over them and there blood mixed into a red liquid on the street. the families of others crieing over there cold corpses...

    i can only see flashes in my mind of people, i can tell my eyes have a yellow coloured luster that could only be called beast like. people are screaming at me "why? why? why would you do this to us?!" i cannot answer but with action. so i hit them. hard. with one ferocious blow they go flying away half concious faces, frozen in fear and surprise. and strangley enough..... i smile.

    its odd, i never LIKED violence, i used to become ill at the sight of blood. but, strangley enough, as im slaughtering and slashing and decapitating these people i feel excitment. a sort of love rushing through my brain as i smell the scent of human meat. i feel as though iv been waiting for this moment all my life. even when i myself, had no idea it was going to happen.

    i truely wish i knew what was happening....


    that was five years ago. the time when i was so afraid. so alone. so immature. now i just move from place to place. killing all that i touch. iv accepted my twisted pleaure in death and suffering. my infatuation with torture. right now i work in a town known as Alburquerque new mexico. i work as a casheir at a small music shop.

    reagular days

    boreing nights

    waiting.
    for another feral growl to escape from my lips.

    7/09/09.
    working at the shop is nothing unusual. i fit i here. with my torn clothes and my sharp fingernails and my tired, black eyes. nothing unusual, for the crowd here. nothing extreamly unordinary.


    -Monster




    7/10/09
    we had an unusual costomer today. unlike most of the visitors here, she tryed to make casual conversation. usualy they take one look at me and keep there heads down. people like me tend to.... scare regular people. not this one. not today.

    her: hey
    "wadaya want?"
    her: nothing really, im getting this.
    (good choice)
    her: are you going to stare at it or ring it up for me?

    this is where i look up and realize what she looks like. black hair, blondeish roots, hazel eyes, strong cheek bones and..... somthing seems diffrent about her... diffrent from normal people.

    "oh... right. sorry"

    i ring it up and she leaves.

    (for the first time, i find myself thinking about sombody when theyr not here)
    -Monster


    7/11/09
    why am i even thinking about her? shes just an ordinary costomer! its not like we had a long conversation or anything! god, what is wrong with me!? goddamnit, i need to clear my head....

    7/12/09
    I find myself saying the stupidest things today. and thinking the stupidest things. not even fresh air could fix this one, so i grab a beer and watch a good slasher flick, and find myself thinking;
    i wonder if she would get scared at this part.....
    DAMN IT ALL!

    -Monster
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    PART 2

    7/13/09
    my mind is a jumbled existance between frustration and adoration. a painful combination to say the least. this woman.... she visits the store regularly and i dont even know her name. this woman who i think of all the time... constantly on my mind. i swear im going insane. all the time im thinking of this person, this agravates me. but somehow i dont know how id occupy my mind if i didnt,
    this is really getting out of hand.
    -Monster

    7/14/09
    no sign of her, where is she?
    this is pissing me off and its starting to cost me.
    iv broken 5 cds in the store today.
    and my boss said its coming out of my check.

    the streets are dark, even with the streetlights on. i can hear many things moving about, mice, people, cars, the occasional passers by.. this is my usual time of thinking and yet my mind is nowhere near thinking. my hands are shaking, and my eyes are glased over. honestly, what is wrong with me?
    "Hey!"
    what?! that voice.... i KNOW that voice... oh man... not now.
    "i didnt expect you to be walking down this way."
    "i live down here" s**t that was too cold ******** ******** be nice...
    "oh... well okay... it was nice talking to you"
    ******** say somthing, quickly... but why why would i-
    "do you want to go get some breakfast?"
    oh s**t. you have done it now.
    "sure! um... just let me put my stuff away, okay?"
    she said YES? WHAT? how.....?
    "alright... but i must warn you, im not very patient."
    RUDE! RUDE! THAT WAS SO RUDE! s**t.
    "haha okay, i never thaught you to be patient anyway. haha"
    shes... laughing?

    (later, at the diner)
    the place smells of eggs and smoke. the tables and the seats are not very... fancy. and there are many old people at the bar. people are chatting in a hushed manner and only one window is cracked open.... why did i bring her here? another place would have been nicer......

    "im sorry this isnt the nicest place but... the foods okay"
    her: "its okay, i like places like this."
    "really? i never thaught that people would like places like this"
    her:"well im not like most people...."
    "i-i never said you where, i mean um... yeah, i soppose your right" stupid, why cant i think before i speak around this person?!
    the waitress walks up and eyes me like people do at a murderer before he strikes at a new victom.
    waitress:"may i take your order?"
    "ah, yes.... ill have the cherry pie and a doctor pepper"
    waitress: "...and you?"
    she gives her an almost warning look.
    her: ill have what shes having.
    waitress: ".... alright"
    "i think we should check if she contaminates our food"
    her: haha yeah, did you see the way she was looking at you? god what a b***h"
    the way she said b***h sort of surprised me... i dont know why but it sort of stung.
    "yeah i soppose...."
    the waitress shortly comes back, releiving us from light conversation and a somewhat tense atmosphere.
    her: "oh wow this is really good!"
    "heh, yeah i guese"
    after eating awhile i notice that these two old men are elbowing eachother in the ribs and making rather cruel faces at our table. and one of them walks up.
    old man: "hey, b***h."
    i take a closer look at him and notice right away the smell of alcahaul on his breath. and the stained shirt and a rebel flag on his right arm, he has grey hair that is messy and balding, caucasion and about 5'11. and he looked like he weighed about 230.
    "your drunk, old man. leave us in peace."
    old man: "im not going to take orders from some lesbian like yourself"
    i look over and notice her blushing.
    "if you value your pride i reccomend that you leave us be."
    old man: "WHAT?! hahaha! like a little WHORE like yourself could take me."
    a rather feral snarl rises from my chest, but i hold it back, slightly.
    "sir, i belive that that was a challenge."
    old man: "you bet your gay a** it is"
    "fine, shall we?"
    we step outside with many people watching us, and i tell her to make a run for it if she gets the chance.
    i can hear the crowd yelling and cheering and jutting there fists in the air.
    crowd:"get that little b***h! teach her a lesson!!"
    the man swings his left arm at me and i easily dodge it, taking a swing at his ribs and hearing a satisfying crack.
    he stumbles back and charges at me. another easily blocked move. i let out a simple foot and he trips over it, flying and hitting the concrete. still not finished apperantly, he gets up and throws his right fist at me. i take a step and dodge it, and barely able to hold back the urge, i take a rather unnessicary bite out of his arm and remove the rebel flag. ew, what a horrable taste.
    "men like yourself, are DISPICABLE" i say, and i walk off, leaving his clutching his arm, gasping and crying.
    old man: "MY ARM! WHAT THE ******** IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"
    everything.
    -Monster

    7/15/09
    i wake up in my house, not remembering going to sleep. im so tired, but iv never felt so excited. i go to work to see her, good. she got away okay. i really hope she didnt see the stuff i remember. she walks up to me and asks if i can come outside with her for a second.
    her:"thanks, i really appreciate it."
    "oh thats no big deal. heh"
    heheh... i feel rather smug.
    she then wraps her arms around me and whispers in my ear:"thank you."
    and i can still feel her breath on my neck.

    -Monster