a story of a guy

• Artist: ansey_003
• Description: this is a poem i made about a story of a guy whom lived a lot of hardship in his life
  hope u all like it...
• Date: 10/13/2008
• Tags: story

My parents left me when i was young
I grew up in the street,i had a bad tongue

I was raised by a gangster
until he was shot by a police officer

I got a job as a pick locker
until i was caught by the car owner

I was jailed for several days
then i went on a stupid place

I used to cry all day long
but i realised it was all wrong

I leaved a hard life
I decided to end it with a knife

I was stopped by a girl
Who soon became my world

She told me to fix my life
She threw away my killing knife

She taught me how to love
And lived freely like a dove

In the city i found a decsent job
I worked as a janitor in a nearby pub

I had a family
We lived happily
Until i was shot by an enemy

Comments

[Remeedy]

nC nC..

[vams1001]

I love it ,its very beautiful for me, i love the way you wrote it, doesnt have to be perfect, as long as it got the effect, wht u say is wht ur heart will reflects /-^, woo hoo i am now a poet ^-^v

[neodapanther]

Interesting story, but it seems a little forced. You break your rhyme pattern a couple times and use a very limited vocabulary. The last stanza is the only one with 3 lines... and while it makes the last line pop, but it also breaks the rhythm. Not bad for a beginner poem, but you have some work to do.