• My Doggy Ate My Homework

    “My doggy ate my homework.
    He chewed it up,” I said.
    But when I offered my excuse
    My teacher shook her head.

    I saw this wasn’t going well.
    I didn’t want to fail.
    Before she had a chance to talk,
    I added to the tale:

    “Before he ate, he took my work
    And tossed it in a pot.
    He simmered it with succotash
    Till it was piping hot.

    “He scrambled up my science notes
    With eggs and bacon strips,
    Along with sautéed spelling words
    And baked potato chips.

    “He then took my arithmetic
    And had it gently fried.
    He broiled both my book reports
    With pickles on the side.

    “He wore a doggy apron
    As he cooked a notebook stew.
    He barked when I objected.
    There was nothing I could do.”


    “Did he wear a doggy chef hat?”

    My teacher gave a scowl.
    “He did,” I said. “And taking it
    Would only make him growl.”

    My teacher frowned, but then I said
    As quickly as I could,
    “He covered it with ketchup,
    And he said it tasted good.”


    “A talking dog who likes to cook?”

    My teacher had a fit.
    She sent me to the office,
    And that is where I sit.
    I guess I made a big mistake
    In telling her all that.
    ‘Cause I don’t have a doggy.
    It was eaten by my cat.