• this feeling is so dark and deep it hurts to think of what could have been this break me down into pieces so small i don't see how they will ever be put back together it shames me that i was to blame i cant stop missing you wish i was still with you i just cant stop and someone inside i don't want to no matter what i try to do nothing fills this void i wish you could see inside my heart and see how this feels its hard to explain its like everyday having your heart ripped out when u wake up and don't see your face don't hear the sound of Jr in my ears changing a diaper at random times of the day playing games with you and talking about why the grass is green and why the sky is blue those to you seem so stupid but those were the best times in my .life going thru my day without you both in it makes me feel like i am in a nightmare i cant wake up from i look and look for you both but no matter how much i look i cant find you two and i cry and cry till i cant cry anymore my eyes are sore from the tears when i do get to talk to you i wish i could jump thru the screen if for nothing else a hug just to feel you hold me i would probably fall to my knees but not from being tired just from missing it so much i would jump thru for a smile from you both it would make my day just to see that but at the end of the day when i curl up on the couch holding my left hand fingers on the ring i close my tear filled eyes and drift off into another nightmare ...................