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Robin took a deep breath as Miss Marni got straight to work. She was calm, even, professional, and it helped Robin focus. Xe reported what xe knew, apologised for not seeing more, and turned to the student who had delivered the message, who also shook their head, not having seen anything before the tumble. Their eyes were wide as a house-elfs, and they were trembling as hard as they were breathing. Xe pointed out a chair nearby for them to sink into.

Madam Kavanagh confirmed the broken leg and jaw, in addition to a rib. She cleaned the body off quickly, her spells near and precise. It was strangely settling, watching a professional at work. Xe took another breath.

Robin remembered seeing Milan around the common room occasionally, taking a practised swig of potion. There didn’t seem to be a particular schedule to it all– at least as far as xe could tell, but xe knew anything might help.

“I..have a theory, but it might be baseless. I know Milan’s been taking wideye potion throughout the day to stay awake, and um. I heard he’s been taking something else at night, probably to help him sleep? Maybe…there was a vial crash. Someone’s cleaning it up now so maybe–oh!”

Xe shrugged Milan’s bag off xer shoulder, submitting it to the nurse as hopefully helpful evidence. She though, had a more elegant solution, casting a spell that told her…something. It looked something like the diagnostic spell xe had learned in healing, but with more details pointing out different things. They had an immediate solution in the cabinet, and soon enough, Milan was stirring.

Robin nodded as Madam Kavanagh instructed xem to stay with Milan, and sank into a chair next to the bed. ”Hey. You okay?”

Of course he wasn’t okay, he took a flight down three bloody–literally now–flights of stairs!

”Sorry. You took a bad fall and are in the hospital wing now. How are you feeling?” Milan was really out of it, tipping his head to the size and muttering something about lemons instead. Robin looked around then down confusedly before realising he meant xer shirt. Xe didn’t really understand, but if it kept Milan talking, that was fine right? ”Oh yeah. Do you like lemons?” Xe nudged his shoulder–somewhere that didn’t look as bloodied and bruised anyways– ”Hey, you awake?”

Nurse Kavanagh was back soon, coaxing Milan out of sleep to answer a few questions. Milan answered in a daze. Something about seeing his sisters down in Slytherin, about helping on a project–was this all over some homework assignment?--and then taking a potion that apparently changed colors on him. ”You took a bad fall and are in the hospital wings now,” xe repeated hopefully helpfully. Maybe it just took a bit to sink in. After all, Madam Kavanagh had mentioned Milan’s head wasn’t too damaged. That was good. Maybe it was just like waking up after a long nap. Please let that be all, Please O’Lord restore him to health and heal his wounds, restore him to health and heal his wounds.

Milan was crying now. Or about to. Robin tried to look politely to the side, at the bag on the plain side table. What could help now? Madam Kavanagh could take care of things physically. But mentally….surely there was something to be done about the wide-eye potions…maybe the other potions? Who might get through to him? ”Should…should I get your sisters?”

Milan was obviously in a haze, his voice squeaky and drifty, like he was constantly drifting in and out of sleep. Robin sat next to the bed, praying silently and trying to do something. Xe offered to get his sisters, but that was shut down. Madam Kavanagh asked if there was more pain, but the boy kept swatting Madam Kavanagh’s hand away. Robin thought quickly, trying to figure out what to do. Xe wished xe could do something about the clearly excruciating pain, but after a moment of thinking, xe realized Madam Kavanagh hadn’t given Milan anything yet so because she needed to know if there was a place the diagnostics had missed. Xe didn’t want to push Milan when he was in such a state, but also didn’t want to hinder the nurse with xer inexperience. Xe hesitated a moment long and instead just remained quiet until addressed.

Madam Kavanagh asked about the potions and Robin held the bag up again: ”Milan, we’re going to check your stuff for which potions you were taking, okay?” xe informed more than asked, waiting only for a sound of acknowledgement. Xe really didn’t want to be breaking into people’s privacy, even in such an instance, but it wasn’t like they were doing something bad. ”This one. And this is the wide-eye.”

Xer eyes widened at Madam Kavanagh’s suggestion: Suicide

”No.” xe responded immediately firmly. Xe didn’t know where the confidence came from or how even xe knew that was the answer. Actually, the more xe thought about it, the more xe recognized how very silly it was that xe had any opinion in the matter. Robin wasn’t Milan’s friend, just a convenient passerby. Robin didn’t know the first thing about suicide, or Milan for that matter. But like a bolt of lighting on a clear day, the thought appeared firmly in xer mind: unless Milan explicitly said he was trying to die, then Robin was going to believe that it was a tragic accident and not a death wish.

Robin hadn’t even been home when Sparrow slit her wrists in the bathtub. Xe hadn’t even found out until Nim wrote a separate letter explaining everything. Robin hadn’t been able to do anything for her afterwards–xer letters went unanswered, Wren didn’t give details, and even Piper didn’t want to write about how Sparrow was feeling in all of it. It all made it all the worse when Robin returned and Sparrow was exactly the same as when xe left: Sparrow had been incredible at convincing other people she was fine–she showed just enough of her pain that people thought she was getting better, when she was just getting better at hiding how fast and hard she was slipping.

Robin stared at the torn-open jeans, skin still pink from the healing charms. Xe could still see the shattered bone and knew that below the seams, that bone was still broken. Madame Kavanagh would re-set it properly once she was sure all the rest of the injuries had been taken care of. Xe glanced up at Milan’s face, where his jaw was still knitting itself back together: his eyes shut but he still turned away, like he was trying to hide. Behind the exhaustion, behind what people--even random people like xem-- could see, how much more was Milan hiding?

”Madam Kavanagh, is there something we can do for like…the worst of the pain? Something localised at least? xe asked, distracted for the moment before the good nurse refocused xem, asking about Milan’s schedule.

Xe racked xer head for ideas, reaching into xer own bag for a planner. Xe retraced xer own schedule, trying to imagine where xe would have seen the older Ravenclaw. ”He was close friends with Angier,” xe said unhelpfully. More recently. ”He hangs out a lot with his sisters in Slytherin, I think. Otherwise, I’ve only really talked to him when I went to the Daily Dragon room once for an interview. Uhh..and I see him in the Common Room occasionally working on…homework or drawing, I think. I’m not sure. He always has this thick sketchbook. I’m sorry. I…wish I could help more.”

After setting the offending potions on the side table for Madam Kavanagh to collect and inspect, Robin had sat with xer hands clasped in a prayer position. As Madam Kavanagh started the intravenous drip, Milan’s hand suddenly grabbed xers. Oh! Afraid of needles, Robin realized. Xe shifted one hand out so Milan would have an actual hand to grab, and blanketed Milan’s hand with xer other. As hard as he grabbed, xe was okay with. This was familiar.

”Little pinch, there, all done,” xe murmured like xer own healers used to say when giving a shot. The IV line certainly looked thicker than a shot needle, but it was the same principle, right?

Xe told Madam Kavanagh everything xe knew–unfortunately it wasn’t very much, and nodded in understanding as the nurse explained that the quadruplets were excluding themselves, retreating and isolating into themselves instead of branching out after one of their biggest connections abruptly and gruesomely departed. Robin nodded. Xe was unfortunately familiar with the isolation that grief brought.

”Not at all, if you and Milan don’t mind, I would like to stay,” xe replied. Xe would write a note to let Aunt Verine know something had come up and xe wouldn’t be down, but xe could do that later. Xe confirmed Milan should be kept awake and settled back into the chair next to the bed.

Milan’s hand gave xers another squeeze as Madam Kavanagh left to check with her other patients. Xe patted Milan’s hand reassuringly. Milan’s eyes peeked open, and the ghost of a smile lit up his face. ”Hey, stay awake okay? I know you probably want to sleep but we’ve got to keep you awake for a bit.”

Xe racked xer memories for information about Milan–anything at all–that might help. Robin didn’t want to pressure Milan into talking about anything in particular if he didn’t want to–that wasn’t xer job. But it wasn't like they could just talk about the weather, and xe honestly didn’t know too much about Milan Wellbelove aside from fashion and the unfortunate demise of Milan’s late friend. It was worth a shot. If not…well, xe prayed for the right words to come if not. ”Do…do you want to talk about Angier? Or….”

"I can't sleep... the nightmares... they're awful."

Robin shook xer head, and the voice cleared, resolving into the reality before xem. Xe asked if Milan wanted to talk about Angier, and to xer surprise, Milan started talking.

”I suppose. He took my broom in a contest,” Robin replied with an amused crinkle to xer brow. It was a fun, if embarrasing, memory. Milan managed a soft chuckle before confessing his crush.

”Wasn’t he and…oh.”. That would complicate things. Xe knew Milan and Angier had been close mates. And then for his sister to start dating his best mate–more than his best mate, xe now knew. That got complicated really fast. But Milan had chosen to keep his silence. And now…

Before xe could ask if Milan had considered telling his sisters, Milan replied with the answer, asking xem not to tell–no, not to let them find out. It took a moment to deduce who: Angier had been surrendered to the state just before his death–Robin had read the ethical opinions about whether Angier’s biological parents should even be informed of his death–which left no family to speak of. No other interested parties. Somehow, that made it worse. Milan’s feelings were forced to die with his friend. No one to tell. The fact he was saying so now, to a stranger, was proof enough of the void those feelings existed in now.

”They are your feelings and sisters to tell,” xe replied gently. ”Although I don’t think you should keep them to yourself forever. Everything is …usually easier when out in the open.”

Xe squeezed Milan’s hand again as his eyes started to close again, and xe asked if Robin fancied anyone. ”Not particularly,” xe brushed it off. A thought leapt to mind. Aspen? But that was more of a childhood admiration thing. And now…now it was just noticing people were quite fit. Not really fancy, emotionally anyways.”Eh, it’s not important.” xe chuckled and took xer own advice. It wasn’t worth hiding anyways: ”I was thinking of a childhood crush. That’s all.”

Robin tried to get Milan to keep talking–it seemed the best way to keep him awake. ”Hey, Why do you think your sisters would hate you if they found out how you felt?”

Robin was surprised when Milan asked about the contest. Xe thought back to the exact memory and recalled the event gently: “A Trivia contest. It was shortly after I switched over to “hype” from reserve playing. Angier had complained about the school brooms so I leant him mine for practice. He liked it so much he challenged me to ‘a bet for it.’ Anything I liked, I believe the terms were. I’m not one for betting so much, so we did a trivia contest. Turns out, he knew a lot of trivia from trivia nights. His parents worked at…a university, was it?”

The Windshear had been Wren’s old broom, and there had been a whole back and forth where Wren told xem to do whatever. With permission, xe would have preferred to just sell or give him the broom, but Angier didn’t have the kind of money to buy a fairly-priced racing broom–even a decade-old one– and wouldn’t take charity. Robin watched Milan’s expression as xe told the story. Xe hoped it would help, to just talk about the one who was gone. If xe could get Milan to talk, it’d keep him awake, and it’d let Robin find out a little more about Milan. Everyone would win.

Robin contemplated Milan’s confession silently as he explained it had been a confusion thiat had led to Yaretzi and Angier dating. “I’m sorry,” xe dinally said. “That he misinterpreted it. And that you didn’t feel like you could clarify yourself.”

But how could he, after Yaretzi and Angier were already together? Robin didn’t know them too well, but they seemed like a happy couple. Xe patted MIlan’s hand, hopefully comfortingly. “Maybe it’ll be as simple as just ‘Hey I have something I need to get off my chest,’

“Selfish? Is it selfish that you hid your feelings to give your sister a chance to be happy?” xe asked, genuinely surprised at the rationale Milan had offered. But xe didn’t know Milan or the Wellbelove family that well so as to assume. Maybe it was more than that and Milan just didn’t feel like he could fully explain. ”Sorry. Maybe not now. But the four of you seem very close and well, when you’re close to someone you can trust them to understand your feelings, right? So maybe not right now. But eventually, if the feelings still weigh on you, maybe consider letting them know.”

It seemed almost too simple. Robin wasn’t sure if it would help, and xe wasn’t sure if xe had to be worried about suicidal intentions or not. But xe did know that Milan was stressed, and that stress could make mountains out of the smallest speedbumps, or chasms out of the smallest sidewalk cracks.

Milan shifted his hand to wipe away a tear, so Robin let go with one hand for a moment, fishing a clean handkerchief out of xer bag and offering it wordlessly. Perhaps it was time to switch topics.

According to the rumour mill, Yaretzi Wellbelove had made and then covered herself in a burial shroud, then took the same pair of scissors she used to cut cloth for her burial shroud and cut her wrists again and again until the entire room had been flooded by a pool of blood. Another version had her using her wand to slice her neck open and it was the Bloody Baron who had found and revived her by screaming at her for trying to usurp his position. Another claimed that her sisters had found her lifeless body and performed some kind of dark arts to bind her ghost back into it, which was why she was now expelled. Yet other people contended it had been a mere potions accident and the suicide was just a ploy for attention fabricated by the Wellbeloves, since Yaretzi and her roommate Daphne had been seen simply strolling around the Hospital Wing around the perported time, all smiles and sunshine like normal.

In general, Robin didn’t like the rumour mill much. Xe wasn’t like Nim or Wren, who knew how to use the mill and its information. Xe wasn’t like Sparrow, who thrived on being the centre of attention and saw gossip and rumor as just another form of information. The rumor mill was baseless to xem, and xe preferred news that had been at least looked into. Otherwise, xe preferred testimony from people who were experts or first-hand experiencers. Xe knew what xe knew about Angier’s death from Lem who had seen the aftermath, and from the Daily Prophet news articles. But the details of an attempted suicide in the Slytherin dorm room wasn’t exactly published in the Daily Dragon, and the Wellbeloves hadn’t exactly been screaming their mental state from the castle ramparts. Maybe it would have been healthier if they had.

Honestly though, it wasn’t xer business. Until a few minutes ago, when the Lord had flung Milan Wellbelove into xer life–literally, with the falling down a flight of stairs. And right now, the only thing that mattered was how it was affecting Milan. Xe was going to get it clearly: ”Did you…try to follow her?”

Robin’s eyes crinkled with merriment as Milan remarked that trivia had been xer first mistake. That it had.

Xe didn’t reply as Milan sighed, saying there was a lot he wished he could have told Angier–not only clarifying the crush, Robin suspected. Maybe some of those things Milan just didn’t have words for yet. Maybe it was stuff that would only mean anything to Angier because of their deep friendship. If this had been xer siblings and xe had any chance of understanding the context of their relationships or anything about the way Milan Wellbelove thought, Robin would have pushed more, encouraging him to open up and get that off his chest. But Milan wasn’t, and Robin knew enough about xemself than to overstep what xe could do. This was something best left to a close friend or family–which was the problem, wasn’t it?

Huh. This was starting to sound like what a professional, trained psychiatrist or therapist was for.

Xe asked straight out if Milan had tried to follow Yari, and Milan looked like he had suddenly aged years. He assumed everyone would think that, and pointed to the terrible rumours surrounding Yari.

”But to answer your question, no.”

As far as Robin was concerned, that was all xe needed. It wasn’t “Maybe, I wasn’t sure what I was doing” or “I don’t know”. It was no.

“They wouldn’t let me leave because they thought I was suicidal.”

“Sparrow, you were suicidal.”

“I guess. But it was just…no one believed me. About my own feelings.” Sparrow sighed, but her little smile didn’t waver as she said it. She seemed like she had processed it. She seemed like she was okay with it now. Was she okay with it? Was she okay? Or was this all a show to convince everyone she was? It had been the first time Robin had to question if xer older sister actually knew what she was felt. Xe questioned if her ability to act was not a good thing if she was using it to hide her pain. Was a good thing suddenly bad because someone used it for something bad? Hiding wasn’t evil it was just…bad.

It made no sense. Who, God withstanding, could know better than Sparrow about how Sparrow felt about how Sparrow felt? Xe wasn’t God. Xe decided to just believe her. Maybe, if she could trust xem, she would tell xem when she actually hurt. Or maybe, by going along with her act, she would feel like she still had some control in her life. Either way it helped her. Maybe. Xe prayed it would help. Maybe xe was making a terrible mistake.

But what it meant was that when Milan replied, Robin decided immediately that xe believed him and would advocate–as much as xe was able to– on that. Milan explained that he wasn’t trying to kill himself, he just messed up. It was a potion blunder. Dangerous, certainly, but it seemed Milan already knew that–he mentioned he was trying to stop needing the potions, but had just been too tired that day. Milan was exhausted. He had made a terrible mistake, and now was severely injured. Not believing him now was just going to be

Milan explained he had regrets and heavy emotions, but he knew his family needed him. He had hopes and dreams. He knew that if he had tried anything, it would just hurt his family worse–and they were definitely hurting as it was.

”I hope no one does anything stupid because of me."

”Let’s do what we can so no one does, okay? First, I believe you,” Robin assured when Milan hummed and asked if that was “good enough” for xem. Xe affirmed it firmly. ”If you say you didn’t try it then I’m taking you at your word. You didn’t try it. This was just a potions mix up. Which is dangerous, but you didn’t try to kill yourself.”

Xe was suddenly a little relieved that Harlynn and Echo Wellbelove hadn’t found their way up to the Hospital Wing yet. Xer job now was to be a rubber duck for Milan to bounce ideas off of so he would know what he wanted by the time his sisters did find out. Xe wondered about the nightmares–no doubt why Milan had been taking dreamless sleep potions–but xe also didn’t think xe would be particularly helpful interpreting dreams. What would help? Well, the direct approach had worked thus far.

”Milan? What do you think would help? Not just like the sleep. But with like everything happening to you and your family?”