Welcome to Gaia! ::

After Music Club, Sparrow squeezed Chadwick’s hand as they headed for wherever they were off to next. She was a little nervous now that she had to bring up she hadn’t actually turned the Drama Club over to someone else.

Sparrow had four skills really: acting, singing, dancing, and memorizing things for said acting, singing, and dancing. And she liked acting, singing, and dancing. To study she would improv little one-person scenes about the subject matter, or put something to a tune and memorize it that way, or attach wand movements to dramatic dance moves. She remembered people’s names by tying them to roles in her own private “Hogwarts Soap Opera”. Every other club she joined, every other thing she did was simply experience that would help her play a part now or in the future. Sure they had said that she didn’t need to be in the drama club, much less be the captain/ director to pursue acting, but drama was her life.

She took a deep breath once they were mostly alone in the hall. ”Um. So about the Drama Club Captainship...I was talking to a few of the members, and I decided to keep it. We’re going to work on improv this year! For the show we’ll have an interactive improv piece, amongst other scenes! It’ll be really new, but I think it’s going to be fun!”

Surely Chadwick would understand this! Because love always won, and Chadwick was her soulmate. It was love at first sight. They’d been together for nearly half their lives now (although that included the times they were technically broken up). But he was her one and only love! He would sigh, but squeeze her hand and kiss her nose and say he was looking forward to the performance.

Sparrow flinched a little when Chadwick grabbed her shoulders, The nice mood from earlier had ended and they were back to the pre-Music Club tensions.

”It was a guy wasn't it, of course there's another guy. You hate me don't you?

”I-I’m sorry! B-but--” How did he just know? Sure she had to talk to guys because they were in club, but she knew she wasn’t supposed to talk to boys without Chadwick there. Sparrow looked down guiltily as Chadwick continued to rant at her.

”Its a very big responsibility and it's one that you can't handle!”

Sparrow deflated visibly. She knew what a big responsibility leading a club was, and taking on the task was a little daunting. But she wanted to try it? But Chadwick knew her best and he had her best interests at heart. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself.

She never should have talked to Yukon. This was why Chadwick told her not to talk to other boys. Plus Yukon was her best friend’s boyfriend, and Aria had concerns about Chadwick that Sparrow couldn’t believe. Yukon was also Wren’s friend, and Wren was a stupid, jaded cynic who thought love only existed between man and cat and marriage was just an excuse to pay lower taxes and to obligate someone into taking care of you for the rest of your life. She never should have fallen into that trap and jeopardize her relationship for this ego-feeding title--

Had she ruined everything forever?

She tried to reply, but her voice wavered between insistent and frustrated and very very guilty. She started crying, and was trying to placate him but getting impatient that they were having this conversation again and this was all so upsetting! Why was this always her fault?

”I’m not failing any classes! I know I’m not doing as well in Potions or Wandlore as I could, but I won’t get held back, okay?” she cut in mid-lecture. A was a passing grade! Sure it wasn’t great, but even if she got all As, the worst that would happen is her mum would flip out and send her off to more tutoring.

"No-no, it wasn’t a third year at all, it was Yukon! He’s in Wren’s year, remember? I told you I was going to ask him to take over for me because he’s the oldest student. And he said--he said he’d advise me on leadership things so I could learn as I worked.” she replied quickly. "And with his help in leadership and everyone's support in the club I'll really just be organizing. This is the theatre, Chadwick, I grew up on this! I know everything that has to happen already, and I told Jack last year that I was going to do something great, and just imagine what four productions under my belt will do after graduation? Please, dearheart, just let me try!"

Old arguments. Sparrow shifted uncomfortably and tried to brush the tears away, but Chadwick was holding her shoulders too tightly. She shifted again, trying to get him to lighten up on her. ”Chadwick, you’re hurting me.”

”But-but” Sparrow’s voice wavered with quiet sobs as she tried to control her tears. Chadwick reminded her of her grades, and told her to focus. He was right, she did get distracted too much. Chadwick knew her best, really.

“That’s not what--”She hung her head, still beating herself up for listening to Yukon. ”I’m sorry. It wasn’t just Yukon though, everyone else in the club was supportive...I think….” Chadwick was right, this was the kind of thing that she should listen to Chadwick about, not anyone else. But all that about Yukon putting a rift in their life like he had in Wren’s--that wasn’t true, was it? Wren and Aria breaking off their betrothal had worked out. Everyone was happier now.

“I--that...but.” She sighed exasperatedly, discontent tying a knot inside her. He took her hands when she protested, and continued on about talking to Yukon. She could only nod and cry. This was her fault. She knew that Chadwick’s perfect girlfriend didn’t talk to other boys without him there. She knew that Chadwick’s perfect girlfriend had good grades. She shouldn't have been so cocky as to think she could turn down the captainship without him there. She should have asked him to come along. She had thought love meant he would understand, but didn’t love also mean she should respect his opinion over all else?

Yet she was still arguing, stuttering between the tears that would not stop, trying to make him understand:
“But I know what I want to do in life. I told you I’m going to be an actress. Acting...Acting is who I am. And productions are like...they’re like, like wands for wandmakers. Games for Quidditch players. Papers for academics. It’s how you build experience and show your abilities.” As she explained her voice steadied a little, turning into a rant. ”It’s not extracurriculars! For my path, music is more important than DADA and Mythology and Art is more important than even Healing or Potions or whatever! Drama club is important.

“Also, Aria and Yukon are super happy together! They’re lovey-dovey and everything!Wren’s not as romantic, but he and Nim are happy together, and they’re all still very close friends! There isn’t a rift between any of them! And yeah I’m sad Aria and I aren’t sisters, but we’re still best friends! So don’t blame Yukon for this!” Now she was defending Yukon! She was being unreasonable. Sparrow took a steading breath. She wasn’t even sure what she was pleading for anymore. “Please Chadwick...No matter what, you'll be there for me, right? We... can get through anything, right?

Sparrow nodded, wiping her eyes when he kissed her knuckles and said this wasn’t the time or place to argue. Sure. They just needed to talk and Chadwick would believe her. Chadwick loved her and love always--she sighed again, this time in exasperation. How many times had she repeated that line? She squished her other protests and suddenly felt tired.

She let her hand drop out of Chadwick’s as she stopped moving. Her hands were trembling, whether from the crying or the discontent building inside her. Her voice broke again, quieting and shaking: “When is it time to argue? W-Why is this a mistake? Why am I alway--always making mistakes? Professor Shoichet knows Jack left the captainship to me. And everyone in the club is supportive too. Even my parents--even Wren congratulated me. Why are you the only one that’s against this?”

This wasn’t right. Chadwick would never deny her a lead role without reason. There had to be a deeper reason for this. What wasn't she getting? Why didn’t he get it?