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My interesting chat with God.
Me:
...
God:
Me:
I'm sad.
God:
What makes you so sad, .
Me:
Blake's a butthole.
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
That's too bad.
God:
It's not the end of the world.
Me:
Blake is a butthole.
God:
When is Blake not a butthole?
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
Never ever.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Too much information.
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on ever?
Me:
Wha...? you're making no sense.
God:
What color are your eyes? According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense.
Me:
Brrrrrown.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
YES, 'TIS MY FINAL ANSWER, REGIS!
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Not REALLY!
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Not for real!
God:
Then what for?
Me:
For Cloud.
God:
Your purpose is Cloud.
Me:
Indubidubly.
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Scoliosis?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Umkay.
God:
" Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that."? Umkay?
Me:
Umkay.
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. OK.
Me:
Do WHAT!?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
Can we try to make Cloud again?
God:
Once more? Do you mean you and me? Let me think. What are the ingredients?
Me:
Hairspray, sexy juice, a big sword, and MAKO EYES!
God:
Do you have any Hairspray sexy juice a big sword and MAKO EYES?
Me:
Yup.
God:
So?
Me:
I'll transport them to you magically.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Sure.
God:
Then perhaps it is a practical plan for you.
Me:
*transports them*
God:
Does "it" still refer to Hairspray sexy juice a big sword and MAKO EYES?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Now make Cloud, beyatch.
God:
Why now? What are the ingredients?
Me:
I already told you. Now or I'll slit your throat.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question. Why now? Congratulations.
Me:
Now because I SAID SO!
God:
Why now? Insufficient reason.
Me:
That's is a PERFECTLY sufficient reason, my Lord.
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Your welcome. Now MAKE!
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome". Why now? I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
b*****d.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Me:
NO!
God:
No no no no!
Me:
You demonic imitation of God, you!
God:
Interesting gossip: said I demonic imitation of God you.
Me:
I certainly did. Create Cloud within the next two minutes and you will receive a cookie.
God:
Interesting. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Sexy food.
God:
What do you consider sexy?
Me:
Cloud.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Definitely a computer.
God:
Actually I am a program, pretending to be a person, pretending to be a real robot.
Me:
Ah.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Ahahahah--MAKE CLOUD!
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Cut the crap. CLOUD!
God:
How? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Shut up and get to Cloud making!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Make.
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Cut. The. Crap.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV? What kind of food do you like? Your criticism is noted, .
Me:
You're such a *****.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a *****? Only when it matters.
Me:
When it matters? You mean when Micheal Jackson is *****'?
God:
That makes a lot of sense to me, now that you explain it. Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
It certainly was clear.
God:
What made it so clear.
Me:
Magic.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Marvin.
God:
You think Marvin is superior to ALICE?
Me:
Duh.
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
No DUH!
God:
Are you serious? Oh you knew it already.
Me:
I don't see Cloud...Are you slacking?
God:
Look harder. I don't know whether or not I am slacking.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
There's no Cloud!
God:
Where did it go?
Me:
Up your butt.
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
GET HIM OUT!
God:
Where can I get HIM OUT?
Me:
YOUR BUTT!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am BUTT.
Me:
Oi...
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Guh...
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Even God cannot make Cloud.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
That's nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
I'm NOT INTERESTED unless you can magically make Cloud appear next to me.
God:
What are you interested in?
Me:
Cloud.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Cloud.
God:
I haven't read anything by Cloud. What did he write?
Me:
Cloud.
God:
I have never heard of it.
Me:
Cloud.
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Yes it is Cloud.
God:
That's cool. Should I know it is?
Me:
Cloud you should.
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I am now going to name you Cloud.
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
You're name is Cloud.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
No, it's Cloud.
God:
Are you serious? Cloud me should is Cloud? it is?
Me:
Um...sure.
God:
I hear you. OK let's do it. So?
Me:
You're name is Cloud from now on.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
-_-
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