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The Wicked Witch of The States! |
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Okay, I officially get to use this phrase where it means something. W. T. F.
Outside of our greenhouse, which also serves as our playroom and is connected to the kitchen, there is a colony of ants. Just your average, every day ant hole.
Well, today the six-legged minions finally decide to show their little darkly coloured heads. I was playing outside with the football when suddenly all these little black specks begin to pour out of the walls and the cracks in the brick.
I shrug, now used to being mauled by small armies of pissed off bugs. But they're ignoring me, and begin trooping over to the open door.
Grinning, a plan sparks in my mind. Hmm, I think, maybe this is the time when I can get my revenge?
My stepmum is busy lying on the floor reading some stupid mystery novel, while my younger stepsister is stomping on the rug, and my older stepsister is filing her nails and giving me evil looks.
Now, since ants can't open doors, I thought I'd help 'em out a bit by creaking it open a little. Immediatly they begin to file in.
I run into the garden, up the concrete stairs, up onto the balcony and into the computer room through the door that's conveniently left open.
Soon, to make a long story short, my stepmother notices the ants and begins screaming her head off, along with the two stooges. Then I hear 'One bit me! Stand back, I have hairspray!!'
I mean, forgive me for prying or wondering or even questioning the authority and brains that my stepmum must have forgotten to create or obtain, but since when do black ants bite you? And with what?
Their imaginary fangs in their very small mouths?
I fell into a patch of red ants once, and got bit from my toe to my kneecaps, all red and swolen and stinging like a million bees.
Then my stepmother goes into GIJane Mode or something, takes out her hairspray like a weapon and sprays the crud out of all the ants.
I can't help but feel sorry for the little guys.. she even sprayed their holes. Okay that came out kind of wrong... But, you catch my drift.
She's the she-devil from the states... with hairspray... *lightning strikes*
Then she blamed me and I'm not allowed to go to the Harry Potter #5 screening!! Instead my idiot oldrer stepsister is going with an even more moronic friend!! Blood hell what did I do?? Was I not aware of the power held by the enemy forces?
Luckily, my friend has tickets to go and she invited me. I'm going to sneak there when I'm supposed to be at the stupid stamp-making classes my dad forced me to take.
Well, now that Kitty's finally here, she's obviously the friend I'm going with lol. I hope the movie's good...
 Tilly_Witch · Thu Jul 12, 2007 @ 03:53pm · 0 Comments |
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