The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will accidentally shoot their kids.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly-and for the same reason.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?
Why do they report power outages on T.V.?
kat_luvs_u Community Member 
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