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this is an email from a former classmate of mine...
Looney Funny English
There is no egg in eggplant or
There is no ham in hamburger;
Apple nor pine in Pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries weren't invented in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.
Quicksand can work slowly
Boxing rings are square
A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
Writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?
The plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth is beeth?
One goose, two geese. So why not one moose, two meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not
one amend, that you comb through annals of history but
not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and
ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you
call it?
The teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat?
If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital?
Send shipments by car and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and wise guy are opposites?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?
Have you ever Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
Where are all those people who ARE
spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
In english a house can burn up as it goes down burning
You fill in a form by filling it out
In which an alarm clock goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it
reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of
course, isn't a race at all).
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And in English you wind up your watch, you start it, but when you wind up an essay, you end it.
Dinesh Vora
 fytingfish · Sun May 01, 2005 @ 05:10pm · 0 Comments |
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