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♥Seriously, I feel like there's nothing left...like, everything that happens to me is worthless now. Even if I get a good grade in Algebra, even if I get new shoes, even if I won a contest--suddenly, it's like there's nothing there anymore.
Where could've this all started? Did it all begin when I found out that my parents think of me as another pile of useless crap when I was in the 4th grade? When I was heartbroken for the first time in my life? When my grandmother (father side) died? Or was when I graduated from elementary? Perhaps when my grades where low when I was a highschool freshman? When I got heartbroken for the 2nd time? When I moved on to becoming a sophomore? Maybe when I hurt Cheenee's feelings with my direct words? Or was it when I hurt Pechay? Could it be when I realized that my Parents never really wanted to spend a single penny on me--even if it would be for my studies? Yes...that's it!
When ever they would use their money to buy me clothes, shoes, school bags, pens, pencils, art materials, books,etc--they would get mad at me. "You have so many of those already. Why is it that you always want a new one?!" They would scold me...Geez, they expect me to come into school with a bag that has a hole in the bottom, a pen with no ink, shoes whose heels are about to get detached and UGH!! It's like I'm not their daughter, it's like I never was! What's worse is that when they actually give me something, they would say something bad about the current scenario and make me feel guilty even if I've done nothing....
They would always compare to other kids and vulgar animals, they would call me names and would badmouth me, they complain about everything I do! They laugh at me behind my back, they treat me like a reject, they ignore my opinions...most of all, they hurt my innocent pets! My cats, hamsters and dog didn't do anything to them, yet they try to kill them slowly but surely...all because they're MY pets. There are also times when things are bad enough and they come and try to provoke me into doing something or saying something wrong--I try my best to avoid allowing their plans to fall into place but there are times when I just can't.
I may be an absent minded person, but that doesn't mean that I'm idiotic enough to look over those details! Of course I know when they're making a fool of me, when they're trying to drive me to suicide. It's pretty obvious to me that they want me to die anyway. I mean, they DO taunt me.
They are not, never were and never will be my family...
 Claez · Sun Nov 04, 2007 @ 05:12am · 0 Comments |
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