Here is another entry, done much later than I would have wished. I had meant to make this a regular journal, but I suppose my tendency to procrastinate prevents it from being so.
I'm so frustrated right now - I'm not sure what with, but I am constantly feeling a sense of dissatisfaction. I need to occupy myself with something, busy myself somehow, but I stop everything I try to do because I didn't do it as well as I would have liked. I'm the type of person that needs everything they do to be at the top quality of their expectations, and if it isn't, it seems not worth doing at all. I realize that that it's bad to settle for nothing but what meets up with my unrealistically high expectations, but I can't help it. It gets in the way of everything, though, and prevents me from doing the things I would like to do.
I blame my father for this - one of the sayings he's always said to be ever since I was little was, "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all."
Writing about this perfectionist handicap of mine is depressing, so I won't continue. I just need to make myself to accept that everything I do can't be perfect, and move on.
I don't think I can write about anything else, now. Examining my faults doesn't really put me into a good mood.
Until later, then.
Eumeia · Mon Dec 17, 2007 @ 02:33am · 0 Comments |