So here's the scenario:
You meet someone online. You click perfectly with that person. You and that person get into a relationship in which you both proclaim love to the other. You and the other person make promises to be together in reality one day. But that one day, 2 months later, the one you love tells you he/she can no longer be with you due to personal problems. You agree with the terms of friendship and go seperate ways as friends. Eventually you meet and develop feelings for another person whom you've met online and click even better with, someone who treats you like everything you are worth and more. So you get involved with yet another relationship in which promises are made, love is proclaimed, and it lasts longer than the previous relationship, lasting at one year and 6 months. It ends due to problems that tear up every shred of mortality and self evaluation he'she helped build of you for you. So you realize you have horrible luck with the object in life known as "love".
But what is love or infatuation? I used to think it was all about caring so much for the person you would do anything for them no matter the cost to you. Wanting to be with that person for the rest of your life and sharing a life with him/her. But thinking more on it, I want to share my life with all the people I love on a friendship level, becuase I love them and want to be with them forever or at least as long as I can. But what defines friendship love and the love which binds you to that one particular person? I'm begining to think now that its knowing what the person is, not just who they are. For me its the way his/her scent overwhelms you when you hug him/her; knowing you are comfortable around the person, not only in real life but online as well, and can be open; its knowing his/her quirks and faults but still accepting him/her because its who they are not what they do.
When my (now 11 years old) cousin Huy discovered I had a self mutilation problem, that's what he told me. He looked me straight in the eyes and told me "I love you for who you are and what you do FOR me, not for what you are and what you do to yourself." And for the longest time I thought I understood him perfectly but ever since I got back from California, I've rearranged my thinking and how I see life - all because of one person. One who not only smells really nice and has the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen, but is also really sweet and respecftul and made me feel safe everytime he had his arm around me.
 Myth Tariyun · Mon Jul 11, 2005 @ 08:18am · 4 Comments |
