Afraid...
I'm afraid of loosing such a key man in my life my grandfather. Two years ago I had to go to three funerals for people who were important in my life. One was around this time for my great grandma on my dad's side. I knew her enough to be able to keep her memory alive with me but it wasn't as close as the relationship I had with my other great grandmother who died the night of prom that year. I went straight home after prom and sobbed not having time to spare I hoped onto a plane to see my dying grandmother in ohio. I spent the whole day at the hospital with her as the doctors said there was nothing they could do and that she was going to pass away in a day or two. I heard her throat gurgle as she said my name faintly as she muttered "I'm sorry" I knew exactly why she had said that. At my great grandmother's funeral three months before, she had promised me that she would make it to see my graduate, and there it was two weeks away and she was on her death bed. I whispered to her how amazing prom was and how it was on a cruiseliner and that the sunset setting on the potomac was almost like a painting or as if in a dream. She smiled all she could. She could barely talk as her lungs had collapsed and her face and body looked deformed. She almost didn't look human. The following day as we got ready to visit her, she passed away.
I miss her deeply and I don't want to let go of my grandpa or my grandma from my mom's side yet. I'm not ready....
I'm not ready....
I'm so afraid and not ready... </3
 acfaerie · Thu Feb 14, 2008 @ 12:46am · 5 Comments |
