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Here are jokes and stories i've found ^^
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There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. "I know," he said, "we can play, ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’".
"How do you play that?" asked the redneck.
"It's easy'' said the Spanish boy, "we can play it next recess."
So when recess time came, the three boys went outside. "Alright," said the Spanish boy, "Lets play."
The Asian boy explained that all you have to do is pull down your pants and whoever has the biggest pee pee is the winner. And so the Asian boy pulled down his pants and the other two boys were impressed. Then the Spanish boy pulled down his pants. His pee pee was about the same size as the Asian boy's. As the redneck boy pulled his pants down, the other two boys stared in awe.
"You win for sure," they both said.
Later that day the redneck boy went home and his mother asked him, "So did you make any new friends today?"
"Yup. I played this game called ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’ and the other boys said I won because I'm a redneck."
His mother laughed and replied, "No sweetie, you won because you're 23."
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A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
She was released from the hospital but while crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a car.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years?! Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that car?"
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
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In the Alabama county, there lived a farmer with three beautiful daughters. One night, the daughters were gonna go on a simultaneous date with their boyfriends, whom they fell for after hearing their rhyming poetry.
At that night, the girls were still upstairs getting ready. The doorbell rang, and the farmer answered.
The young man at the door said,"Hi, I'm Eddie. I'm here to pick up Betty and go out for spaghetti. Is she ready?"
"Not yet. Wait a few more minutes," the farmer replied.
The doorbell rang again, and the farmer answered.
The second young man said, "I'm Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo and take her to the show. Is she ready to go?"
The farmer replied with the same attitude, "My daughter ain't done yet. Wait yur a** outside."
The doorbell rang a third time, and the farmer answered again.
Another young man came up and said, "Hi, I'm Chuck...."
Before he could finish, the farmer shot Chuck.
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A man with a fifty inch p***s goes to the doctor complaining that he can't get any women. The doctor says, 'Well, I can't help you, but I know a witchdoctor who can'.
So the man goes to see the witchdoctor, and the witchdoctor tells the man to go to the lake, and that when he gets there, he will see a magic frog. All he has to do is ask the frog to marry him. When the frog says 'no', his p***s will shrink ten inches.
So, the man goes to the lake and sees the frog. 'Frog,' the man says, 'will you marry me?'
'No!' says the frog. Suddenly, his p***s was only forty inches long.
Well, that's good, but I need it shorter, the man thinks to himself. Once again, he asks the frog, and his p***s shrinks ten inches. Now he is down to thirty inches. That's pretty good, but it could be a little shorter, he thought.
So the man asks the frog to marry him, and in a furious rage the frog answers ' for the last time! NO! NO! NO!'
 FallenDevil · Sat Jul 30, 2005 @ 02:12am · 2 Comments |
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