In my dreams
I plunge a knife
Into my heart
And I feel nothing but
I see the cold black blood
Pouring down my chest
Or I drowned in the black waters
Of my heart
That have concealed me for so long
I don’t believe in suicide
It’s the dumbest way out
But I feel so much pain these days
And yet
People like to
Feed the fire
And keep me out
And I don’t know what to do any more
This is the only way to express what I feel
And this is the only way I’ll ever communicate
My true emotions with anyone
Every day, the eyeliner gets
A little thicker
I don’t slit my wrists
Anymore but I
Can’t take this pressure so
I’m closing my mouth
I’m closing my heart
And I’m closing my eyes
On the world
Those suicidal people say
That their life sucks in every way
But if they lived in my life
For one day
They wouldn’t last through the pressure
They wouldn’t be able to stand the pain
When absolutely no one loves you
When you’re the only one to blame
Its hell on earth
Its fire on water
It’s death in the worst possible way
Slow
And the tears don’t come anymore
I’ve already used them all
And I want everyone to know
That enough is enough
My heart has enough scars
I’m dead enough inside
And I’m just an
Unlovable writer
With dreams too far away
And hopes to high
Love is not an option for me anymore
No one cares enough
No one wants someone
Who’s poetic or deep anymore
So I just keep hoping that
Tomorrow comes,
Quick and painless
And that my sole doesn’t wake up
Till I’m truly loved again
And that day may never come
Maybe it’s the way I’m supposed to be
Alone and forgotten
Forever concealed
In a glass crystal
Waiting for something amazing
or a miracle of some kind
I’ll wait forever
But only for a day
Because a day is forever now
And I don’t want to stay
I know I’m one of those bad things
That happen to good people
But do I have to be an outcast
By everyone I know
And every where I go
I know no one cares to take the time
To look inside and see
That I truly am beautiful
In a way
I guess you could say
I am a beautiful disaster or wreck
Because Hell feels like home
And nothing going to get better
Only worse
Only worse
 NativeBlueXV · Sun Apr 20, 2008 @ 01:53am · 2 Comments |
