I stand before an alter, an abyss of death and darkness, and in front of me is a line.
It is blood red, the color of your own sweet blood, for you stand beside me and it has fallen from your body. Your hand holds my own, and while my eyes rest upon you, your own are scanning the abyss, weighing your options.
You can cross the line and lose me…
Or stay, swaying on the edge, with me.
I am the reason you are still here, which is bittersweet. Sweet, because I love you, but bitter, because the beautiful release you long for is on the other side of that line, at the bottom of that chasm.
You inch forward, as close as you can, and my grip on your hand tightens. I won’t let you go like that.
It’s a crime to hold you back, I know. And I can’t think of an excuse.
Can either of us ever be happy? You find your peace in death. I find my peace in you. You stay because of this. I beg you to stay, regardless of status.
I’m selfish.
And still… I can think back to our first days, when things seemed happier, when we weren’t as concerned with the things we are now. When we were still getting used to each other.
As much as I’d like to say I miss those days… I don’t. I wouldn’t change the way things are for the world. I wish neither of us ever, ever had a breakdown, I wish I never had to listen to you cry and you never had to comfort me through my own tears, but…
I feel close to you.
And I hope you feel close to me.
We were innocent back then. Too innocent. At least, I was. You’ve opened my eyes, which were so desperately closed. You did the one thing I’ve been longing for, that no other boy could possibly fathom doing.
You changed me, for the better.
I was lifeless, just a being with no purpose. No true thought as to how anything worked, or why anyone acted the way they did. I was more selfish then than I am now.
You breathed life into me, and woke me from my self-therapeutic slumber.
You’re the first person I’ve ever sacrificed to be with. The only happiness I’ve ever put above my own.
I am nothing without you.
My eyes finally shift away from you, to the bloody line where the tips of your feet reside. As my gaze moves to the dark pit in front of us, your own notice me. Your hand returns the squeeze as you turn, back facing the chasm.
I can’t help myself. I throw my body into yours, knocking us both over the boundary and into the void.
For my happiness is yours, and yours is my own.
Now, we’re both at peace.
elbourne Community Member 
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