I got my laptop today, but I'm not using it on the internet just yet. I don't have very good virus protection and I'd probably muck it up checking out porn sites or something. I need to get better s**t like Ad-Aware and some others before I go online with it if I'm going to be reliant on it for the next 4 years. Uncle knows best.
We found a house and my mom was going to sell her mothers old jewelry because we absolutely can't afford the deposit, then she was going to ask Denny for a loan, and buy the stuff back from him... and Denny just decided that he would pay the deposit. 250 bucks. It was twice that, but the landlord was nice enough to cut it when he heard my mom's story. I just hope she gets a job and can make ends meet for once now. Due to past experiences I have little faith in that, but I still do hope. Frankly, I don't have faith in anyone anymore, not even myself, unless its something mundane. You know. I haven't come to rely on things either. Not so much. I assume the sun will rise and set on time, but not much else.
Sink or swim time is coming soon. Not that anyone but me really gives a s**t. I have to do really well in college. Like... I HAVE to. I must.
I just feel so lost and helpless quite honestly. I mean... I'm just a somewhat overweight 19 year old kid thrown headfirst into this s**t, being socially awkward, and really stressed out too much and I'm too anxious. And... I'll be shitting my pants, I'm sure. neutral Well maybe that visual is a little too extreme. But whatever. My stomach doesn't handle stress.
I don't know why I'm writing in this, its not like anyone is going to read it. But I guess I don't care if people read it too much. If I did I would go through the trouble to get a proper blog, but I don't feel like it... I guess it just helps me vent really.
Valium helps. But I don't think I can get a dr. to write a script for it.
I still don't know what my dorm situation is going to be like... but my family sort of kind of thinks that since I'm with the RA that he and I might actually share a suite just by ourselves because he gets special privileges or some s**t. That would be great. But if I have to share a suite with 5 guys, I dont' know what I'll do. Speaking of which... I'm not sure where the piece of paper is that shows what room I'm to be in. ******** ******** ******** ******** ********.
I guess with that, I'll bid you goodbye imaginary readers. I have too much paper to keep up with, and that one is particularly important.
Bye guys. Don't forget to ******** yourselves.
Trulyalone · Thu Aug 14, 2008 @ 06:44am · 0 Comments |