If I confirmed that life was easy, I would be completely lying to myself. I never consider life as easy, since pain and confusion always finds its way towards me everyday. Happiness and pleasant feelings does appear every once and a while, but mostly a gloomy atmosphere hovers over me. Why is it so? I actually could not explain that to myself. I rather stare at myself silently, curiously trying to see what's absolutely wrong with me. Do I think I'm ugly? Not exactly. Do I think something is really wrong about me? Well... everyone has some issue about them. So what could it be?
Maybe I'm looking down on my own self, yet I look at others in a different way. I look at people to where they are superior. I do not want anyone to follow my way of life... to not be a copy of me. No one can be like someone else, unless surgery and mental connections created them to be. That's why I must look down at myself. I haven't clearly discovered myself, though I set goals for myself. How much does that sound ******** up? To me, not so much. I'm very curious about myself. Each day I wonder if I'm going to stay in the same religion, what if I turn to a different sexuality (turning gay, etc.), will I stay as the sweet, caring me or well become to a hateful being.
How will I know?
Life just reveals itself.
Maybe when I finally find myself... I'll be at my tomb.
-- Artistic
 The Marvelous Artist · Mon Sep 22, 2008 @ 03:44am · 0 Comments |
