Well...time to collect my scattered thoughts...and write a journal 'bout Characters. Why? I don't know. Ever since one of my RPs broke off...I've been feeling Meh...and one of my RP partners isn't posting and I wanted to finish up some plot in one place.
So this is my meh essay. Please do not, I don't intend to offend anyone, and I'm writing this as I'm a little stressed, happy, and all kinds of mixed emotions. I just need to write because my thoughts are all scatterbrained. Will you read this? Doubt it. People hardly ready anything I write. I'd be surprised if any of this was read at all. People'll prolly take it out of context too.
I've been a writer my entire life...really started my writing career in 7th grade when I took a stab at my first novel. It grew over 9 notebooks, 1000 pages, and was my baby for a while. Then after a time, I saw it get repetitive. And so I put it away, its sat on my desk ever since. There are some good parts in it, some well described scenes and battles. But it wasn't something I'd try to get published.
Senior year of High School, I came upon an idea my second semester. And the whole semester I wrote. As I wrote, my mind gave birth to a series of Characters. Kate, a necromancer with a love for the undead, Craig, a vampire who was fabulously gay, Mark, a werewolf who was the object of Craig's affection, Sarah, a psychic from Victorian times who was rich and oversaw things, Lucas, a dwarf who could hack a computer and play video games like nothing else, and Mykul and Vanessa, kids with witchcraft powers that were raised from the dead thanks to a kind of glitch, in Kate's necromatic powers. They are undead children, but different.
[X] [X]
The novel I started and finished that semester, and then over the summer began the process of editing it. Around the eighth chapter, I hit a snag in writing it, and gave up. Put it aside, saying I'd get back to it after a break, and didn't touch it again. I couldn't get over the snag. Then ... my Sophomore year, second semester, I woke up one morning after an odd dream. I got up, turned my computer on, and started to write. And I wrote and I wrote, about a new version of Kate, Craig, Mark, and Sarah. I dropped Lucas and the twins out of the story to focus on the base four characters I loved so much.
The story was amazing, great...and I started editing it, and got through the first edit. Something a lot of writers don't do. Right now, I'm working on a second edit, and its a little tougher. A lot of help came last year when I took a novel writing class. Worked on description, detail, and character development.
It was around that time, I had started getting into RPing online. I started Roleplaying as Yuko Ichihara from XXXHOLIC after a failed attempt at RPing my babies Kate and Craig. She was more comfortable for me than anything, and I fell into it all right. About a month later, Chris, my bard, was introduced. The RP was a warp of sorts, and any character really could walk in. So I brought in Chris, someone innocent, light of heart, and wholly dedicated to music. Shortly after, I brought in Katiana, a more serious character who was working through issues in the world that both characters came from, and she was a diplomat that I loved and continue to love.
Chris and Kat, both have a lot of aspects of me in them. Chris has my musical sides. I can play three instruments, sing and dance with relative ease. But I never dedicated my life to music the way I had her do. She knew the book smarts I did, more or less. Everything was music for her, it was the one thing she understood. Katiana, was the more stubborn side of me, or more so. The side of me I tried to keep strong. She represented more the street smarts side of me, the one that knew how to act around people more, had a bit more pride.
These two sides of me really were the most fun I'd had online in a long time. If it hadn't been for the RP I joined, I doubt I would've stuck around on Gaia for much longer after that. I had joined back in 05, but I had forgotten about it after a while, there wasn't much keeping me there, so I just forgot about it. Well, now I had something keeping me here, that was fun, entertaining, and I made a lot of friends.
It has been about a year now since then, and a character that was stirring in the back of my mind was birthed. Victoria Barrett, though her name had come from a name generator. Really, my proudest creation. The only one I had really made for online Role Playing. Old western gun woman with a past. She has a half to her that isn't shown, one she never cares to show. Its a half no one has yet guessed. Or at least told me they had guessed. The Round'em Up Saloon was born, and Vikki was the caretaker of that place.
What does this have to do with characters? Well, its the birth, of all my characters really. The only ones I truly call OCs. Kate, Craig, Mark, Sarah, Katiana, Chris, Vikki. Of these, the first four are in a novel that I am working on, Katiana and Chris are Greyhawk characters that I brought online...because with Greyhawk ending, I wanted someplace for them to be. In their world, there is magic, lots of it, monsters, and you have to be pretty strong to survive. Vikki is my only non D&D based (truly) online RP character.
My process for creating characters is slow, very slow. I can never create them on the spot, though ideas have been born with tekteks help. The image of a character, just starting to take shape.
Katiana and Chris got called Mary Sues. Test This was a test I took on them. Now Katiana gets a little hammered being an elf, but its all right. Chris, however, keeps getting low twenties on her score. I'm as honest as one can be on those things. Honest in all aspects. Borderline, not out and out Sue. Katiana's sueisms came from other people not reading what I had written, or inquiring an explanation on said things at the time they were written. To me, it does seem as though it is a bit of an insult to me, as a writer, that my RP posts were not read the entire way through, and I am apparently the kind of person that cannot be easily approached about this kind of ting.
There are some points for Chris I did take into account, and it is easy enough to change those. After that though, the other aspects of her...its part of where she's from.
Vikki, would probably be called a Mary Sue, perhaps. She's a successful business owner, has a gun that kicks some a**, uses magic, and yet while being protective of the ones that come into her saloon, she can't get that close with others. Her other half hums in her blood sometimes in the heat of battle to make her snap and slaughter everyone she can.
Craig and Kate would probably be called Sues. They're old, pretty powerful. Etc etc.
The thing is...they work...for the worlds they come from. To survive in Greyhawk, you have to be strong, know how to wield a weapon. Having odd heritages can be both a blessing and a curse. Vikki fits for her Saloon. She needs the powers she has been given and developed because she's protecting something. Kate and Craig are for my novel, so that world again, is different.
So...in an RP where characters from other worlds are allowed...why should I really change that much about my characters...to fit into those worlds. When it is not the worlds they come from. I can tone down things when in your world, or just not mention things...but there are ways to hid draconic heritage...there are ways to do everything. And if you suddenly make a world without magic that my character was at before as normal, and the character's means of survival was magic...why would I go to a world like that? Why would I got to that world when staying in my own I can protect myself?
These past few days...from a Lack of RPing with Chris and Katiana...and everyone coming down on my characters and where they are from...its really...almost enough to retire them. Entirely. I don't want to, but I've been falling out of love with them...and slowly...falling out of love with Gaia as well. I'm not an RPer...Role Playing online is not something I was truly meant for, something I want to do my entire life. I'm a novel writer, a story writer. That's what I want to do. Role Playing was fun for me...it was a chance for me to write a story of sorts with others, like a Round Robin (of some odd sort) and just enjoy relaxing and watching my characters do things. Its becoming less fun. Its becoming a chore.
I want to finish things up with my characters, I want to keep being online and having fun. But people...I may have a stubborn streak about things, but at least... now you might understand a bit better where I'm coming from. This isn't worth the stress, and having people tell me all kinds of s**t...it isn't fun.
I create my characters at my own pace...and really...they are just fine the way they are. I've come to realize...everyone has different definitions of a Mary Sue... and what mine is isn't yours...and all around. I never thought my characters overpowered things... and if they're Mary Sues...well, put them together, Kat and Chris at least... and you're calling me...in my Real Life, a Mary Sue.
So where does it leave me? I don't know. I still don't know. But I want to keep RPing online...I want to keep RPing with friends I made here...they're not making it easy to. And by no means are they making it fun. Right now, it just seems like a chore. And if I let them change my characters to suit 'their' world...then they're no longer my characters, they will fall into line...as the canons I now play.
Heh, well, once my novel gets published, Kate, Craig, Mark and Sarah will fall into the lines of canons for some no? Maybe I should just stick to novel writing, get my books published...then I can play them as canons. Or something.
But anyone who does read this...and ACTUALLY reads this...maybe you'll better understand where I'm coming from? I'm passionate, stubborn...its because, the few OCs...and stories and stuff I have...are mine...and I've felt a little under attack. Don't take them away from me.
Seung Mina56 Community Member 
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