well, i was in a good mood, very energetic and awake a lil while ago.... and i made the mistake of letting someone know. i told my mom and she decided to rant about how much sleep i usually get and how much of a b***h i am during the school week, especially in the mornings, and how my grades are(and i havent even told her about my interum yet) yeah.... so, that killed my temporary moment of happiness.... i shoulda known better than to get food or to tell anyone that i had sleep or actualy was in a good mood..... and now im tired as hell.... and depressed and stress and i just wanna end everything.... im so sick and tired of failing at everything.... and i know that i cant tell them about my grades because they are on geoff because of his 2 f's.... one of which, he supposedly now has a c instead.... something that sucks, im probably either gonna drive myself insane all weekend with this s**t, or im gonna sleep the entire thing away-which will create more s**t that i hopefully wont be awake for.... right now i just wanna listen to the one song im listening to now and try to sleep. i really dont wanna wake up. sleeping. dreaming. if only i could sleep and dream forever. but i know that that will never happen.... even if i die.... if i die, i simpy wont exist anymore.... and sometimes, i wonder, if that would really be so bad.... but i also know that i would never have the courage to go through with anything that would ever hurt anything, even myself.... damn conscience stare gonk
good song though..... depressed ~ by DHT i just wanna listen to it and lay in bed forever in the darkness brought on by night
Unni Ineo · Sun Oct 02, 2005 @ 02:53am · 2 Comments |