yeah.... well, apparently im very much hated....
today, i have this huge anatomy essay to do.... still have loads of research, but cant concentrate cuz once again, my think lil nerve has been struck, and being very stressed and already so depressed that i cant even feel guilt for exaggerating an illness and staying home "sick" well, lets just leave it at i cant concentrate....
ok, so ontoppa the essay, i found out today that i have a dentist appointment.... so i stop just as i was beginning to be able to concentrate so that i can get a shower.... and then i floss and brush my teeth and rush out the door to go WAIT on geoff to come outta the damn school building..... and he finally does and i actually got to sit up front.... meaning geoff sat directly behind me stressed .... so he bashed on my seat and yelled at me to skoot up.... and finally i did and way too much at that.... and then he kept touching me stressed .... so finally we get to the dentist office, geoff goes and brushes his teeth while he waits.... i go first for once.... the dentist lady made suggestions about stuff since its really hard to clean around my goddamn brackets.... and then the lady, the dentist man, and my "mom" all talked about how my orthodontist wants to pull 4 of my teeth.... then i go outside and wait for geoff to finish up.... i was unable to listen to music since my "mom" had the keys.... so i notice this lady staring out towards where i am and she just stood there for a while.... and then she walked over and drove off..... and then geoff came out and .... GOT TO DRIVE..... i of course complained and he kept telling me about how much of a b***h i am and calling me a gutter-slut and all sorts of s**t.... and then we get to a gas station.... im in the backseat.... and geoff puts rap crap on..... and already feeling like s**t, i start to feel very unwanted and hated and all sorts of stuff and geoff kept telling me that i should die and make life easier on everyone else and "god" knows iv thought about that quite abit..... so i try to claw through and chew through my own left arm all the way home.... and no one noticed except for me.... and yeah.... and then i snuck a knife out of the drawer in the kitchen(while everyone was around) and went up to my room for a while.... staring at it, just thinking about how i wish i werent so afraid of pain and that i could be more sure of the afterlife..... and then i started cutting huge holes in my carpet.... and yeah....
iv had a wonderful day rolleyes stare crying gonk
Unni Ineo · Wed Oct 19, 2005 @ 10:01pm · 3 Comments |