There's this sinking feeling...I've felt it for a while now...About everyday for almost a month. I feel like I'm being held under water, my breath slowly slipping from me, and the surface is right there, but I can't bring myself to swim up.
Yeah. today was one of those day, I got woken up by Nicole...fine...we went to the store, I came home...fine...Me, her and Cassandra went to Ukiah...okay...On the way home, I felt like I'd fallen into the ocean, weights tied to my feet, and I was sinking slowly. With every mile closer to home, I got deeper. I couldn't breathe.
I got to take some pictures. The sunset, was amazing. The most photography I've done in a while. The wind and sun on my face, Good Enough in my ears, him in my head, and a camera in my hands. It felt great to do it again.
"Crave my heart, and it's bleeding in your hands"
Those words play over, and over in my head. I want to feel good enough, I want to BE good enough...but somehow I manage to get myself into situations where I'm not. I set myself up to fail over and over.
Maybe it's because I gave up faith, maybe because I stopped praying...I was happy. I asked for happy, and was granted it. Maybe I didn't take advantage of it while I had it...Was I stupid? Was it not meant to last? Why couldn't I just hang on to something as simple as a smile?
MatthewxLov Community Member 
|
|
Community Member