This is a FULL review and thus spoilers can be found in this review, do not read unless you don't give a poo. Today, my family and I, planned on going to see the "Must see movie", The Orphan! But there was an exchange of "unclear" instructions and when we left to see it, we found out, that we got the time wrong and when we were halfway there, the movie started... stare So instead of waiting 3 hours for the next showing of The Orphan, we decided to go see The Collector... The movie is based on a guy who need money, so he breaks in the family's house, but finds out that there is something terribly wrong.
The man you meet, turns out to be a construction man, who is helping fix up the family's house. His (ex?) wife is in financial debt and owes some "hotshot" some cash by midnight, and if he doesn't get it, s**t is gonna hit the ceiling. He then remembers that the rich family is going on vacation. So the husband thinks that breaking into the house he has been working on is an awesome idea. When he gets there, he finds the safe (presumably filled with riches). When he's begins cracking the safe, he hears someone coming up the stairs. -enters the killer- The guy escapes the room without being seen and decides to GTFO of this house... He looks over the railing and finds the man who owns the house covered in blood and writhing in pain. The man thinks that the "burglar" is the masked murderer and so, the man attempts to kill the "burglar". Whilst trying to kill him, the man sets off a "Booby-Trap" which causes the Chandelier (With knives rigged to it), fall upon the man. The burglar tries to escape but all of the doors have about 7 big locks, the windows are boarded up, and some windows are also "booby-Trapped". The one failed escape window was booby-trapped with a window that closes and Razor blades cut up your hand.
He goes into the basement and finds the wife, shackled down in a bathtub, with a handkerchief in her mouth, and duct tape nailed to her head. The husband is a lost cause because, by this point, his guts are on the floor. The wife asks the man to find the daughter. He goes to look. He can't find her, and reports back to the wife, she says that she's definately in the house. So he unshackels the wife and tries to get her to escape. She sees her dead husband, screams, runs upstairs, where the murderer stabs her a bajillion times. The burglar needs to find an exit. So he runs upstairs. He finds a trunk in the closet banging around, he opens it and there is a shackled, bloody man (this is one kinky killer). The man in the trunk says that he only kills people he doesn't want, and collects the others. Freaked out, the burglar shoves the creepy little man back in the trunk and tries to escape via window. He sees the one older daughter come home with her horny boyfriend and the enter the house and start to foreplay. The murderer was croutched in a corner licking his lips getting horny from watching. They notice him and the heroic boyfriend tries to attack the murderer while the girl tries to call 911. The murderer stabs the boyfriend and he falls on a bed of bear-traps. The burglar tries to help the daughter, but she freaks and tries to stab him with a pair of rigged scissors. The scissors triggered some string to fling her into a wall covered in 9 inch nails. She died.
So he decides that it's really a good time to GTFO of this house and tries to find another window. He smashes it and escapes! Yeah! He's home-free! He turns around and what he finds makes you want to shout "Jesus Christ" in the middle of the theatre. The younger daughter is in her window banging on said window screaming for help. The burglar runs in, tries to escape with the daughter. He instructs the girl to hide and the murderer shackels the man to the wall with fishing hooks, and shoves cockroaches into his gut. The man escapes and beats the s**t out of the murderer. They escape the house and they flag down the cops responding to the 911 call. The burglar got hit by a car because he thought an effective way of flagging them down is to run in front of a car going 60mph. The house explodes and they're happy (The Murderer rigged the house to explode at a certain time). He get into the Ambulance and a cop drives the girl away. He thinks he is safe... Well the ambulance gets in a car accident, caused by the murderer crashing into them with his exterminator-mobile. He kills the paramedic, and shoves the burglar into his trunk.
The End.
This movie was just plain murder. At least Michael Myers movies make you "jump" every now and then. This movie was from the makers of saw, so everything was booby-trapped.. I mean EVERYTHING! If you opened the fridge, a boxing glove attached to a spring would've flown out. This movie wasn't scary, didn't get my addrenaline going or anything. Just plain gore and traps that give you malicious ideas! twisted I didn't like it, it was okay, but not the best horror film i ever saw. 6/10
-This has been a Ciemny movie critique review.
Ciemny · Sun Aug 02, 2009 @ 02:42am · 1 Comments |