Lots of things on my mind after today...
After finding love that keeps me happy everyday and Hearing good news and all...
News come up that drops my world!
My lover tells me she loves i tell her I love her back It seems like You are okay and very happy and yes I feel that way around her, but then one day I hear that my mom keeps getting sick over and over cause of the tumor in her stomach and this is serious sickness too! She has no insurance and it cost $10,000 just to take it out and that really hurt me so much and got me thinking almost made me cry...But what brought a smile on my face was My lover and I love her for that but then My mom is still in my mind which made me sad again...Then I think back for what I did to my lover that made me sooo depressed one night and she called and told me it wasnt my fault! but still I didnt forgive myself and Sometimes I think My mom get these sickness from me and my brothers. Like stressing her out with bills and keeping food on the table. Makes me feel guilty and makes me cry also! Sometimes I wish I wasnt born sometimes I wish My life would end but God Whispers in my ear telling me to hold on and dont have any fear, Wipe those tears as your problems would dissappear! And then I give myself another chance but then I always seem to fail that chance even with my lover she gave me almost three chances one of them was my fault the second one wasnt really my fault and then the third time I promised myself and her that I will not screw this chance up and still im here standing strong! That means God is real and hes watching over me but sometimes I wanna blame him for half of the stuff but then I thought about it and said no it really not! But the main thing that son my mind is my mother and I hope that the surgery goes very well and if not ******** it I mind as well burn in hell but then my concious say no no dont think that way and I tell myself to give another try but yeah like some of these so called friends ell me I fail at life which really makes me fail at life but Imma find the light and imma Pray that everything will be ok!
Pray for my mother please you guys...?
I love you all! God Bless!
 iKakashi iHatake · Sun Nov 01, 2009 @ 06:16am · 2 Comments |
