I am looking for a fight. I more often than not initiate with the wrong people... or perhaps at the wrong time. When people get "closer" (no one really gets that close and to think otherwise is likely a delusion), my tolerance of their shortcomings dissipates. This is opposed to nipping unwanted behavior in the bud which seems like a more proper thing. Frustration builds up and it results in this ever present hostility.
I am socially retarded, I am not hiding that. In fact I use it as a disclaimer. I am finding more causes for my state through education, but not solutions. Solutions are what I should focus on. The ultimate goal being inner peace... to be at ease with myself.
I can see everyone's perspective, understand their thinking. It's all circular, like a giant circle or a pathway, too grand for me to comprehend. A cause and effect circle and I can only see a little pieces at a time.
At times I experiment to see how one might react to a choice. This is more often than not done online, which lets me comfortably and consciously do this. Thirst for knowledge.. how will a person react to a situation. I am certain that most people react in a predictable manner that can be deciphered. I can only think of one benefit to this.. ability to manipulate people. Is this trait something worth desiring?
 niatsu · Wed Aug 04, 2010 @ 07:06am · 0 Comments |
