the more I think I will never get to see you again. I wish I could so one day if I should still feel this way, I could tell you how much I miss you and what we had. It was really simple and so peaceful. It brought a feeling of serenity I haven't known for a long time. The world just feels so strange without you.
If I could, I'd redo at least one of a few things that could have prevented me hurting you. For one, I would have been stronger in that February and ended it with her when most people would have. If I had nipped my issues all in the bud, they wouldn't have grown to hurt you. Two, I would have taken things a million times slower with you. If I hadn't done what I did, you wouldn't have fallen so fast and my realization wouldn't have hurt you so much. Lastly, I would cleaned all the air out of my past so I could Know I was to love you the way you deserve. I meant everything I said to you and wasn't actively holding back, but you deserve someone whose heart is ready to embrace another. If I had known I wasn't ready, I wouldn't have asked you cause no girl deserves a guy who can't love her fully.
You really got to know me in the month together. Whenever I would ask if I was doing a good job and you'd jokingly ask "Why? Do you need a confidence boost?", you may have been right. What happened to me made me unsure if I was able to ever make a girl happy. I look back on it now and your face showed me how I was doing. If I had let go of my past then, I would have seen it without any doubt.
Sorry you got hurt friend. I just hope we can be friends soon. Only two weeks are left where we could actually see each other. I hope we get to.
Also, sorry if I look at the floor or anything when we see one another. It's hard to look at you when I know I may never get to have what I had with you again, that simple bond that means so much.
 genbu noryb · Sat Apr 21, 2012 @ 04:42pm · 0 Comments |
