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The creativity of my mind

	I don't know why but
	I don't know why but


I keep having these urges to do things that I really don't want to. If that even makes any sense. It's driving me nuts and I feel like I'm losing it and I have no way of fixing it. I haven't touched cigarettes in months but for some reason all I want is to smoke. I haven't been drinking, which is a really good thing but still. I feel so unbalanced lately. I've finished up daycare & my externship & I'll be graduating this month. I'm really excited about it as well, but I also think thats whats causing me to be so crazy. Everyones been asking me what I'm going to do now, expecting me to just get a job in daycare but that's not what I want. I've told my parents I was looking into doing speech therapy with kids and the looks they gave me just made my heart sink. I've done so much and worked so hard to do this on my own & I'm trying to figure out & plan what I want for my future and think I'm doing so well & that they'd be so proud and then I get that response. Sometimes I feel like packing clothes & st, grabbing my passport & any information I need, getting in my car, & driving till I get someplace new. Also I've been telling myself I'm happy and keeping myself in check with things but I'm starting to feel like I'm losing an inner battle. I don't think the pain in my back is helping either, I need to keep telling myself to get to the doctor because the pains getting worse & worse everyday. I feel so stressed out & drained & tired & just ugh. I don't even know. -facepalm- Kanato** · Fri Sep 07, 2012 @ 04:59am · 0 Comments


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