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walking down my mind to find maddness at the end of the road
maddness
I've seen the signs, I know what I need to do to become the man I am striving to be/slowly becoming. I have been too immature with my emotions and I haven't faced the truth for too long. In many ways yes I am more mature than a lot of people but also in many ways I am a boy, and I've seen it.

I have to let my actions speak louder than my words, for too long have I contradicted myself and become a hypocrite, unknowingly believing that my beliefs make me a better person and not my behavior. My actions have told me so. I have to humble myself and hone myself, acting and being with integrity and complete composure.

I've betrayed my heart and myself too many times. I've been acting before thinking, but not before I've been speaking. Yet again another contradiction.
I've got too many issues but it's time for me to take responsibility and face myself.
I have trust issues and at the same time I give my trust out too quickly. I need to keep it to a minimum with any and all strangers, and wait for a long time and observe before I can give anyone any piece of me. And considering I'm somewhat emotionally unstable and emotionally immature I need to hone myself and my skills and use what I've learned up until now to change. I need change, and I've known for a long time now that I've been on the path to changing, so here I am now. The fact that I know this means that I am on the right path.

Taking everything as a sign
Act with integrity
Have adult composure
Give up my old violent ways and temper
Keep cool, keep my chest out and my head up high
Mature slowly from a boy to a man while keeping it to a minimum, but also still chilling with people
Get a job
Work out
Start some clubs, join some some teams
Have my actions speak louder than my words.
Don't over complicate things and enjoy the simpler things in life in order to feel normal. I need to for a while.

Despised Freak
Community Member
  • [08/01/14 03:10am]
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