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New Life. I've gone through and deleted all the old entries. I wish it was easier then one by one. I'm 19 and starting college. I'm handling a long distance relationship, and my mind doesn't make that easy.


DarknessAnLove
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Post # 1

Where to start? Oh the long distance relationship. His name is Raymond. We met on here through the forums. I want people to play Minecraft with on xBox 360. We hit it off right from the start; we became best friends in a short amount time. When I first heard his voice I knew he was a stoner. At the beginning of this year he stopped smoking. He speaks the same way. I think getting to know someone without seeing them makes it easier for me to get to know some one. I'm a shy person till you get to know me, then I bloom like a flower. He helped me through heart ache and I helped him through break-ups. I'm not saying his heart didn't ache I just put way too much of myself into things. Things deep down I know won't work. This seems different. I believe he is putting the same amount into the relationship that I am. For once it isn't one side pulling and losing. I could tell him that I wouldn't care if a ******** got me out of the house. He didn't judge he just told to be safe.
I never got that ******** btw.
I can be the slut that I am and he doesn't mind as long as I'm safe.
Condoms and birth control.
When says be safe and I love you too me I can feel the heat from the words, the passion. His ears are always open to my worries and sorrows. He doesn't say much but the fact that he listens, helps and makes me feel better. I have about three year till I can see him face-to-face.
College.
I can see myself having a family with Ray; a house with a white fence. The 1950's house wife. She, I, works, keeps the house, and raises the kids.
Kids? I only want one. If I have more then one that okay I wouldn't stop it.
My mind has been ruined by my first love, who played mind games. He would tell that he loved me then hate within the same second. All knew from love was pain. Love doesn't hurt but loving the wrong person hurts. I was the other girl. I gave would strip and touch myself for a b*****d who had a girlfriend who wouldn't give it up. She didn't believe is sex till marriage (which is fine) but get this she didn't believe in marriage.
That's all I've ever been was a ******** till Raymond. heart





 
 
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