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I truly hate this house of pigs |
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ok. . . . so, um. lets see. it is 3:41 in the morning. im extremely stressed out. a little hungry. kind of thirsty. im not allowed to eat and i havent been since midnight. i dont know if im allowed to drink right now, but i remember that the only water im supposed to drink at least after i "wake up" is to go with that huge a** pill thats supposed to make me really out of it.
im really nervous and depressed that im losing my teeth. and even worse, im depressed because of those bastards i live with.
i dont remember when i fell asleep, all i remember is getting pissed off at rick, typing a long ranting post, and lying in bed wishing i could sleep because i was stressed out. then i wake up at 3:30am. i roll over a few times but cant get back to sleep. my room was just way too hot. a keep rolling over and suddenly it occurs to me. WHY WASNT MY FAN ON?!?!
i look to the end of the bed where my huge standing fan is supposed to be, thinking i or someone else turned it off and forgot to put it back on. but wait, its not there. well i must have simply knocked it over and it either shut off automatically or the cord pulled from the wall. no bid deal. i look over the edge of my bed. NOT THERE. i knew who took my fan, but for the reason of the whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing(despite that everyone else in my house would instantly jump on someone, i try to keep an open mind and make sure that i dont make false accusations, as true as they might seem)
so anyways, i searched all over my house, to find what i expected. its nowhere. so i go to my mom who has been sleeping in our living room for who-knows-how long. shes snoring and i really didnt want to wake her up. but, being desperate and frustrated, i start saying mom in a loud whisper. she doesnt answer wake after i finished, so i went back up stairs and slowly open geoffs door.
hes not in his bed; hes playing at his computer. AND THERE WAS MY FAN!!!! just like i expected all along. i was just going to take it out without saying anything, despite how pissed and depressed and stressed i was, but geoff doesnt let anything go like that. so, as i start taking my fan out, he has the nerved to yell at me "what are you doing?" 'im getting MY fan" "why dont you give me back my headphones!?" "i dont have your headphones. those are mine. there were on my cd player and iv had them since grandma gave me them at christmas. we have the same pair-"" great! yeah! sure! uh-huh! GET OUT!! " "fine"
so, i come back into my room, plug in my fan, get all nice and cooled off. BUT CANT GET BACK TO SLEEP!!
and now im really thirsty and a little hungry. . . . the last time i remember was 9:30 when i came up to my room all pissed. im probably dehydrated since those bastards keep making me cry. god, im such a ******** whimpy emo kid.
o and to make matters worse, i dont know what im gonna do about mel mel's b-day party which is also today. i am going to sleep during my operation and they recommend that patients take it easy their first day. not to mention that i know my mouth is going to be sore as hell, or at least very sensitive. i tried to tell her when we all went to eat at the chinese buffet over the weekend, when we realized that her party and my extractions were on the same day. but, she got all upset and told me i couldnt miss her party. it is a bid one too; her sweet sixteen. i didnt have one myself, but thats simply cuz i hate having b-days for myself. mel mel, however, loves them and they mean a lot to her from what i can tell. on top of that, her father finally did the expected/unexpected (depending on if you were an outsider or her) he called her up the other day and told her she was going to have to move to chicago with over the summer her mom, sister, and little brother. SHE WAS CRUSHED. shed really thought that he changed and that he loved her, but the one thing he had been doing that really would have been nice was keeping her in ohio, where she could stay in touch with friends. that was one of the most important things to her. o and because her dad called while her mom was away, despite that the councilor had told them to tell her when both parents were there in person, it now looks like her mom had been hiding it(not that shed known for much longer than mel mel).
o and i still dont have an idea as to what kind of bathing suit im wearing, if i go, wich if i do, ill probably show up sometime after 4, when the all go back to her house for cake and all that. and that way, if i end up swimming, it will only be for about an hour or two, and it will be a little later in the day, giving me some time to recover from surgery.
i havent been swimming in forever. i was really looking forward to it, except for the whole swim-suit thing. im so used to being fully clothed, not to mention im paranoid about things like that little "punctuation mark" happening. i rarely ever get to swim anymore. mel mel and them got rid of their pool, so i dont have a chance to swim unless they go to the community center and invite me along (like they are for the party) or my "family" is invited across the street to swim (but i dont like the neighbors *old people and a mentally retarded child/adult/guy/thing* and i wouldnt want to hang out with my "family" *plus things get boring and miserable when there are no other kids that you are friends with there) im a pisces, i love swimming. i just dont get to do it much and bathing suits are so gross gonk i wish i could swim with pants and a t-shirt on. crying WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY SPLASHY
great rolleyes now its approaching 4:30 and i still cant sleep. which makes me even more depressed. because, yet again, the selfishness of others has managed to keep me awake and screw me over. stare crying gonk
edit: this cant be good. none of my horoscopes will load eek gonk
Unni Ineo · Thu Jun 15, 2006 @ 09:21am · 0 Comments |
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