It is now 5:09 a.m. and I have an hour and a half to rant to my heart's content about last night. So if you don't want the mindless ramblings of hopeful teenager then get the ******** out of my journal.
A couple days ago my mom and me went to Office Depot to get this program called TurboTax Federal and TurboTax State.
Last night she wanted me to do them for her so I did. I installed the programs and she got the papers that had the needed information on it. Once all the info was inserted into the right areas, I printed it because she said she wanted to look over it to be sure all the info was correct.
Once she confirmed it was all correct, she told me to click "Send electronically (on this program, for those who don't know, this means it sends it to the government via internet). So I click the button and it gets half way done when a pop-up comes up and it says "Unable to send document - lack of Library plugins" and "This document contains errors." And I try to go back and see why it might be saying that.
The whole time I'm doing that my mom is getting irritated. She didn't like how I was working on dolls while the documents were printing even though I automatically closed the paint program once it was time to get back to work.
So eventually she just says "You know what, forget it. Forget that I ever asked for your help with this. Just go back to whatever the hell it is YOU want to do!" then stormed off to the living room and stared at me on occasion in between smoking her cigarette and watching TV.
I decide to blow off some steam trying to finish, or at least work on, the doll I had. About 20 minutes later I realize my bedroom door is open and my mom is in my room.
I go in to see what she's doing and she's moving my wooden dresser (I recently rearranged my room and she told me when I finished we would both move the drssers around so the last one woud fit). She looked up at me and said in a really sarcastic tone "No that's okay I don't need your help. You can go back to whatever it is YOU want to do."
So I told her that if she wanted the dresser moved today she could have told me and I would have gotten it done or helped her. All she said was "I don't need your help. I don't want your help. And right now I don't need you" then went back to moving it.
And those words are still echoing in my head right, I couldn't stop crying directly after she said that. I was talking to Lily and 'Miroku' on IRC when she came into the kitchen and saw me crying and said really harshly "All I said was that I don't need your help so I don't know why you're crying."
Then when she had to go to work, she left at 8:40; about 50 minutes before she normally leaves when I stay at home on the weekdays. And she left without saying anything, didn't even acknowledge she was leaving, just got her work-bag, got the car keys, and left then came back in to slam a window shut before leaving again.
Even now I keep wanting to cry but I'm going to try to hold that all back while at school, the last thing I need is for Mrs. Fields to think I'm unstable again..
I ******** hate it here in this house. *sighs*
 Myth Tariyun · Thu Jan 27, 2005 @ 11:37am · 2 Comments |
