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in the midst of living a dark life, never bound to get better, only bound to get worse. For, it seems, that my birth, was only a curse.
There are no silver linings in this horrible life
Only angry grey stormclouds that cause me more strife.
Bloody and battered I try to get through.
But I'm hiding from all and trusting of few.
Though I feel every tear at the mornings and nights
I tell no one but friends of my horrible frights.
Darkness swirls around as I right deep and dark incantations
Waiting for the day I'll be free, I'm losing my pacience
Just trying to live with a loved one at last
My patience grows thin as my loved ones run past.
Tears pour from my innocent child's eyes
As I realize past friends told not but lies...
They took me for granted, giving me pain
Those who knew their secrets refused to explain
They tore me up, kicked me out, and left me for dead...
I vowed to never trust again, but to watch from the sidelines instead....
Though that seemed like horror I had yet to face Hell
Every day in this new life did not treat me well
I slowly went inside myself to save that which was left...
I was scared to get too close for fear of once again being bereft...
The flames still surrounded, but yet hope shone through
Some friends went with me to keep me far from blue
But still I feared they would turn away...
So I never opened up completely, I was astray....
But one friend didn;t leave me instead she was near
She was friendly and tried to take away some of the fear
But I pushed her away, like I do most else...
An unstrusting child, I shrank away from all help...
She did not understand it; it felt so unreal
But what I didn;'t know was the pain she would feel
I tucked away my shattered heart and tried not to open up...
I may have been the lovable boy, but I wasn't all that tough...
She didn;t know everything, and it only hurt more
that she didn't know why, and more pain was in store.
A sadistic smile lit upon my face, for now others knew what I always felt...
When the belt fell heavy upon my back and left great stinging welts...
The cruel life showed through each word that I told
That poor girl couldn't bear to see me so cold.
I was turning into a man I never wanted to be...
Each day it seemed I lost another part of me...
I was frightened of what I might one day become...
And I wanted to just stop now and be done...
I squirmed because of a mouse down my pants that refused to be removed...
I was slowly becoming more depressed, I was becoming darker in my mood...
So I typed out words that conveyed the things going on inside my soul...
I was just a broken memory forever to be unknown...
She felt this pain grow deep inside
When meeting me the tears s she cried
were bitter, but they still held hope
that maybe she could by my rope
To happiness and mayble more
And other good things still in store
Despite the pain I knew in the past
That girl knew that it couldn't last
Before she slept she prayed for me
in hopes that it would set me free
She prayed for my poor tortured soul
in hopes that she could make me whole.
She could only lie waiting for what would arise
from the life that I hated, the home I despised
I just wish I knew everything sitting in her heart
Because then I'd know love, but just not from the start.
Maybe that was my angel, the one I could tell
all the hopes of my heaven and tortures of Hell
It could seem that she loved me, thought I didn't see
And it seemed she'd die happy, if only I was free.
 Madame Tequila-chan · Mon Jan 22, 2007 @ 01:24am · 2 Comments |
