oh this is from a myspace blog by an author who calls himself Zombienose, i really love and can relate to what he says; its kinda long, but if you wanna read it here it is:
and heres the url:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=41431333&blogID=231715666&MyToken=3f81256c-bd0e-4df8-a70d-6ab1ad50b58a
- For the unloved
Agony... Lonely, lonesome, alone and weak, with no one to play with or tell secrets to. Life tugs at us and there's a million lousy excuses why we hold out for better moments that never come. Fate can be cruel to starry-eyed dreamers, so we give up dreaming. Apathy sets in and then grows so familiar that it becomes the only comforting thing in life.
We're not good to each other, to the world or anything in it, including ourselves. We're tired & hurt by too much indifference or by too much concern. We find ourselves strapped to the eternal dread of life and succumb to the anguish of loneliness; of being ignored; of being untouched.
Despicable occupations numb & dull our passions as the reasons for it drift past. Life's success can only be measured by some level of fulfillment, but there's pain everywhere, in everything, and we easily wilt like water-starved flowers without a drop of hope. We'll search our entire lives for a kindred to hold when misery devours our dreams and the ache of the friendless soul overwhelms us. All earthly awareness is at the mercy of love and everything else is meaningless.
We each have a light to chase, but it can pass by too fast for blurred eyes and we might lose the finest parts forever. When the whole world drops from under our feet we fall into nothingness and simply shut down. With every series of dreams there are holes in the cloud. We die of love, die of devotion, die and die again, everyday, then carry on in a mirage of existence, bravely clutching to a secret pride in our secret hearts. It would bleed dry all languages just trying put it into words.
The nightmarish problems of the contemporary world have lost their edge of horror because we're so accustomed to them. A preoccupation with the misery of others has robbed us of any concept of kindness that may have once governed the human soul. Our imagination never accepts them as people at all. We watch with impersonal eyes, absent of all pity, as their hours of pure pain soften into daily entertainment. International wars, cosmetic surgeries, domestic murders & scandal are all the same to us as car commercials and game shows. Human culture is a appalling distorted comedy.
When our age-weary minds reach a time where death no longer holds a quality of terrible shock we realize that our thoughts will live on even after our own time has passed. Perhaps consciousness expands into other elements of space & time. Perhaps death will be a birthday. I can speak only for myself, but I don't even care to know. There are more immediate matters burning and there are more sensible things to be sure of.
No dream of love is obsolete. On my last afternoon, before my bones are a pile of ash, I hope all voices will be the same, repeating this idea over & over until there is an hour of profound human change. This is a call to the shadowy ends of earth, where meager spirits casually drift about and breathe this idea like air. No dream of love is obsolete!
Look to art. Look to the force of other human souls. The inexhaustible charm of music can soothe sorrow with voices of friends that we might never find in life. With music, heartbeats change, minds change, opinions change, people change and the world can change. Enrich your imagination with literature and creativity. Open the gates to those extraordinary worlds of past, present & future, and let their exhilarating life journeys make every impossibility become possible. Steadily feed your dreams and your time will come!
Those of you too wise to carry well-forgotten dreams from year to year are lucky. This ability was not issued to all of us. My mind is a garden of morbid fury and regret, while my heart is an endless riot of emotion. Tonight my brain is worn to rags rehearsing them and I'm wide awake, stupid with torment.
Whatever you end up doing, love it. Let the road to self discovery nourish the freedom of thought. Of all other days that ever shone on earth, make tomorrow count. Make your voice heard and your opinions felt. Not everyone can avoid the awful pits of a life horribly endured and often the world tumbles short of our dreams. But persevere, because there are no failed dreams! Sometimes they are just different than what we thought - just different. The world has grown more artificial and apathetic, but we are not impassive robots - not as long as we can still feel pleasure and heartbreak and love.
Distinguish your years with meaning! It's not shameful to feel or to express your humanity. Never give up wishing for that one good thing to happen and always relish those eternally comforting souls that you might only find a few times in life. Face life. Be brave and stay strong.
-Zombienose
02/18/07
Victrix Ai · Sun Feb 18, 2007 @ 10:01pm · 0 Comments |