i dont know what the hell is wrong with me actually, i have quite a few possibilities everything from sleep deprevation to stress to loading down of homework to worrying about school loans to needing to get a job to simply being excluded from things and being pushed aside like i always am to just ******** being depressed
I have in my mind this image of everything crunching together. all the deadlines and things that happen all at once coming together along a line and somethings just stay because i finished them or will finish them, while others just bounce off because i cant even remember them or i cant get them done and its just this big fumbled mess
ugh i really really really cant deal with people right now everything everyone says just turns to instant s**t and before i know it im either really angry, or really depressed everything becomes this huge deal in my mind and even something done carelessly is taken as some selfish, mean guesture
im too tired to do my school work to annoyed to make any posts on gaia that say anything at all to easily upset by every little thing to let anything slide by my forgiveness switch is current broken and stuck in the 'off' position as are my 'tolerance' and my 'understanding' switches and probably my 'humor' switch too and i cant really take criticism from anyone either all i really am able to do right now is drive i dont even know if i can sleep despite being exhausted and sleep deprived at least driving doesnt require doing math or anything its all just estimation and correction and steadiness one thing comes at a time and there is nothing to focus on more than the road itself
hell, driving is the only time i feel remotely awake enough to do anything i lack motivation but stress over the consequences
I am so (for lack of better term-> wink *ugh* right now
Unni Ineo · Tue Apr 24, 2007 @ 03:36am · 0 Comments |