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my words...my pain..my life....
Grendel...
I look around me seeing the happiness in their faces.
Could I ever truly feel so happy?
I am a coward, yet they fear me…why?
Cannot they see I am just lonely…wanting companionship…friends…
The jealousy in me is causing my heart to darken; grow cold and hard.
My eyes grow red with fury, so hot with anger they burn my eye sockets.
My nails grow as claws, like talons on a hawk sharp and ready to grab flesh to eat.
My stomach growls hungry for their flesh; for the taste of human bones, meat, and skin.
Hiding in my sanctuary; a dark, gloomy, cold place all alone there…
In my isolation, my jealousy grows making my anger grow along side it.
I burst out…growling and screaming so loud it shakes the ground under me.
If there were animals in my sanctuary they would have fled or flew in fear of the noise and motion.
As the ground settles, leaving the area around me in dead silence.
Curling up wishing for death to take me…
I hear a noise, lifting my head towards the sound…
Whispering “what is that noise?”…realizing it is laughter…the joy in them bursting out into laughter.
Oh the sweet sounds…tears roll down my cheeks burning my eyes
Screaming, my heart beats fast with anger.
Running to the joyful sounds, ripping them apart.
Hating their happiness when I am hurting inside…dying inside…
The noise subsides…silence…my hands are wet…stained with their blood.
Which grows cold as their bodies grow lifeless…
I am surrounded by dead, cold corpses, the blood running in streams away from the owners’ body.
I let out an anguished cry lifting my hands to my face.
Crumbling to the ground, knowing I am truly a monster a horrible beast that deserves no life to live.
Going back to my sanctuary, regretting what happened.
Yet I hear the laughter…the joy; causing the beast within me to emerge.
The cycle repeats until a hero comes…we fight…
Shocked by his strength, a human with equal strength to mine.
He rips my arm off, letting out a painful cry…
Fear of death travels into my mind down to my heart where it beats fast.
I will die tonight by this man, feeling fear but also relief.
The beast in me will die with me…
My fear is stronger; I run pass my sanctuary to my mother.
My heart slows as the blood spills out from my wound.
The light grows dimmer…until only true darkness surrounds me.
No more sound, no pain, just darkness and forever alone.
With no one to truly remember or love me.
I had walked this world as if dead and now I am dead no more wandering around wishing for the end to come…
Good-bye to no one for no one knew me or at least the real me…for they just knew the monster and not the human…
So now I will rest in immortal darkness…



Writer's Notes:
wrote this last year for junior english class...after reading Beowulf...we had to write a poem of who was more you...so this is what i came up with...i understand Grendel...for have the same feeling..wanting to be understood and accepted..but in the end all i am..is in the shadows..alone...rejected and mis-understood.......its quite sad....

New Writer's Note: oops i put this in twice didnt know did this a long time ago calling it the grendel in me...





 
 
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