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so, the names amanda. first off. im over complicated.
yeah, i could be like everyone else, and say cliche things such as "im not like any one you've ever met", but the truth is, thats bullshit. im one person out of 6 billion more. no one will think of me as important. no one will remember me when my time has passed. no one will think of me when they're older. im just nobody. but, crazy enough, so are you. you are no different than i. you may look different, but you feel the same sh*t i feel. dont judge me, you're only judging yourself. dont look down on me, you dont even know me. i dont trust. even if you're my best friend, lover, or child. f*ck that. i've had my back stabbed by the closest people in my life, and im not going through that hurt again. im afraid. afraid of everything. love. freedom. lust. hurt. life. death. the silence of a dark room is my only comfort. there is no such thing as happiness. because deep down, we all have depression. we all have our doubts. our painful memories. its still there lingering in your heart and head. i could go on and on, thus making you think of me as depressing. but whatever. its the truth, and sooner or later, it'll slap you across the face. and you'll realize how pointless everything is. fortunately, i realized it sooner. dont get me wrong, i can be the "sunshine of your day", make you piss yourself laughing, but at this moment, there is no point in doing so. its only myspace. not like you'll ever know me in real life. why waste your time trying to get to know me. its a waste of time. and so is everything else. love is more of a curse than anything. its not the feeling of being "complete" or the thought that you're actually cared for. its simply the illusion that you have someone by your side. i know better than to fall to the pity of the heart. it will only f*ck me over later on in life. i know not to fallow my heart. its plain and simple. im scared sh*tless of being in love. im nothing more than a hipocrit. i say things to help other people. not caring weather the same things will be my end. i say things to save others. but not myself. chyeah, like i said, im one hell of a complicated chick. confusing as well. but hey, who am i trying to impress here? you? i think not.

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