For years, Xmas has been slipping away from me. First I was mind-swapped with a cow by those dastardly Zurg, and it took me a miserable two years to get my old body back! Then, last year, just when I was all rested up and ready to deliver presents, I was forced to go into hiding due to a terrible, unspeakable threat...But I'm through hiding! I'm no coward! If shadowy assassins want to rip me to bits-- or set my head on fire, like they did to that poor jellyfish demigod-- they'll just have to come and try it. I'll be right here waiting for them.I know, I know, it seems like something always comes along and mysteriously incapacitates me right before Xmas. But not this year! I'm utterly confident that I won't somehow be tragically killed or horribly mutilated right before my favorite holiday.Tonight I'm going to rip up my life insurance policy in the presence of a licensed notary. I'm going to rewrite my will to stipulate that all my possessions be thrown in a volcano. Do you know why, boys and girls? Because NOTHING could possibly go wrong this year.I'm telling you, I feel invincible. I'm not scared anymore. No harm can come to me. This year, come hell or high water, I'll be delivering Xmas gifts again!Yours most sincerely,-Santa ClausP.S. - You know what I missed most during my long absence? Getting wonderful letters from all the good boys and girls of Gaia! Please feel free to send me a private message-- I can't reply to all of them, but I'd be delighted to hear from you!
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pls reply! tnx