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Trust is a big deal for me. The reason Im posting this is to illustrate a point. i have had 3 girlfriends. 1st one cheated on me. I was devasted. 2 months later I took her back and she cheated on me again with the same guy. Recently the guy she has been with apparently has been beating on her. Even though she hurt me bad I would still be there for her if she need me. My 2nd girlfriend broke up with me after one day. She was too depressed and didnt feel she deserved to be happy so she dumped me over the phone. I still hang out with her to this day. My 3rd and most influintiol girlfriend has recently broken it off with me. We went out for 6 months. It was an abusive relationship. Emotionaly that is. She always berated me and talked down to me but I still stayed with her. One day she walks up to me rips off the necklace she gave me and says its over then walks away. We sit together everyday in the morning still. The reason she is so influintiol is cause I was afraid to trust anyone when I met her. She taught me that people will hurt you so the best thing to do is suck it up and go on a little bit wiser in life.. I love all three of them to this day. I always will. In love? No not really. But love as a friend and person most definatley despite the pain they put me through. That applies to anyone close to me. I love them so much and I would do anything to protect them and make them happy. I put their needs and wants ahead of my own. There currently 10 or so girls in my heart right now. Theyll always be there no matter what. I am a caring trusting guy. I hear girls say they want a guy like me and I wonder well whats wrong with me? Am I not good enough for you or too much like a brother or what? All I want is someone to love me like I love them. Is a little loyalty and faithfulness asking too much? I choose personality over looks. Every girl Ive cared about has hurt me but inspite of it all I still love them and they have made me stronger in the long run. Maybe Im looking for too much at my age. I am only 16 but Im looking for a longlonglong term relationship. Guess I cant expect people to be mature enough for that at my age. I dont know this is just a rambling to get these thoughts out of my head. Am I crazy? i hope not. Maybe crazy about a certain girl but not insane. Atleast I hope not.