Today... i got into a fight with my girlfriend.. she never understands how i feel about her she thinkgs she might be just another girl who has entered my life and who will soon leave, and shes wrong she doesnt know how wrong she is she never knows how much i love her. never... and sometimes i wish i could just freaking grab her and shake her and tell her i love her cry ... all i want is to tell her i love her over and over agian everyday for rest of my life... each day telling her 5 times a day that i love her. that she is only thing i think about... i love her more then life... i want to be with u alex.... i want to be with u i want my heart to combine with urs and we can live together... in love and love each other... for rest of are lives.....
but it seems it wont happen anytime soon. when im with her i think im already dead becuase she is my heaven my angel but she just thinks i dont care. i want to be able to touch her skin and kiss her for once i want to be there to hold her when she is sad like the day with her nana in the hospital i wanted to kiss her on the head and never let go of her... im such a ******** wuss... im ******** crying... i want to love her forever and ever. but it seems she never notices how much i care for her....
all i ever want to do is to see her and take her out on a date, and kiss her with her lips agianst mine... knowing we love each other till the end, then marry her to show the dedication of our love, grow a family with her so we will show more and more people how much we love each other, have a house with her so ill never have to leave her and die with her someday... what i want is to die in her arms knowing im loved by her.... but it seems to me i can never express my true feelings for her... these ******** words dont mean a cent of how much i care... i want to die for her. someday i want to wake up and by my bedside waiting for me to wake up would be her.... i want to hold her hand till the night is gone... it feels like i can never be with her... becuase it feels like shell never trust me with her heart... wich iv leaned to so many people and so i figure why not just crush it the rest and give it to this girl... and what she did ... was took my heart and fixed it and terished it...and from that moment on i knew i would want to be with her forever...and im just ... so tired... so ******** tired of always geting in fights with her... becuase i feel like each time im losing her... and that means my heart gets crushed one last time... and that means i would never love agian... becuase she my world and if u take her from me... i have nothing to live for... just blow up the world now for me... iv already had my heart crushed by her once... when she left me for a guy named ben... and her burning words peirced my heart that day... and i still never forgot them " iv loved him longer then iv known u thomas" and then after awhile he broke up with her and i didnt care how much she breaks my heart id always go back to her... and i did... i went out with her for almost a year now ... becuase... i love her that much cry ......this is why i am crying here.... for her love... thats all i ever wanted before i even knew her... i wanted her love for myself
each time i will come on here and edit this to how much i feel each day and make it all one.... the way i want are hearts to be one...
after OUR fight this is the conversation
Fluffin-Duster
-_-Dragon3290-_-
Fluffin-Duster
im not going to yell anymore. i hate yelling. i hate being yelled at. i hate it when people raise their voice, especialy at me. i hate it when people dont trust, i hate myself for not benig more trustworthy. i hate those kids who made me like who i am now. i hate the world for being so crule. i hate my brain for being rational. i hate my temper for being very small. i hate meself and i want to die.
well im not ready for that.... and if u where here with me youd know becuase im crying and i dont cry easily... if u die i die with u... i hate everything before i met u.... if only u would know how i felt... like what i wrote in my journal... as it seems it seems we arnt meant to be but i want to be. i want to be with u the rest of my life... well... becuase....
i love you
youll be better off without me. im a horrible person. i lose my temper on people, lots of people hate me, and youll just be one of them on my list. i have only a few real friends. joey and curt have pretty much turned on me. julia and katie are my best friends now. if you want to leave, leave. dont torcher me with the fact that you might or might not, i just dont want to be hurt anymore. no more pain. no more tears. my mom told me once i used to come home from school crying because of how the kids treated me. i remember very clearly now. i dont want to go back, i want to stay with you. with nothing but love inbetween us. but, i see iv made you very mad, and i understand if you want to hate me too. but if you do, please tell me now. dont torcher me like this, to see on which side of the fence you tip over onto. put me at rest, so these tears will stop coming and coming and coming..
alex... iv loved u more then i year now and im never going to stop loving u..... all i want is ur love for me and ill live my life a dream... my only wish is to be with u the rest of my life i want to be able to kiss u one day.... im not mad im sad... i feel like ea time we fight im losing u... and that means ur breaking my heart.... i gave my heart to so many people... and each tme theyve used it so clumsly and broke it... but when i met u... its like u took my shattered heart and fixed it and terished it... there are alot of things i think and never told u here are some. i dont think u would love me becuase im not as smart as the other kids.... im actually in a special education becuase kids use to pick on me and id beat them up and plus it messed me up.... it made me mad everyday at them... knowing 6th graders and 5th graders where doing my 8th grade and 7th grade work... and another is i thought u wouldent love me.. becuase of my face... i hate it... sometimes i wish i was someone else... becuase everyone makes fun of me and my face... and i hate it... and another is i thought u would think... im just kidding when i say i love u... but i mean it... thats why im crying my eyes out right now... becuase i want to spend my life with u becuase i love u so much and want to be with u i just want to tell u over and over agian
i love u
i love u so much
i love u more then life alex
i want to be with u cuz i love u
i love u with all my heart, whats left of it
i love u soo much id kill myself for u
theres no stronger words i can then i love u... cuase this is how i feel about u cuase i love u alex... i want are love to be intwined in each others... i us to have nothing but love between us i want to fall on the side of the fence where ur at.
This is are love to show to the world... if you love someone this much u should tell them.... like as if u where to never see them agian.... spill ur heart to them
this is my girlfriend and my own fight and we resolved it.
we will be together
Forever.
heart
