Here I am. Stuck with a keyboard underneath my wrists and a frown on my face. And I know that's hard to believe, especially to the majority that attends my highschool. After all, I'm sure you would hardly understand my predicament if you knew why I was upset as well. Like all good things, all great things with a beginning, it has an end. And life, that bitter mistress loves to laugh the hardest when she concludes things in a "not so great way." Yeah, I hate when things end badly....
Even worse, I hate when things don't end badly. They end much too perfectly, and leave you feeling like it all went by so abruptly it snatched away a piece of you. That, is an ending to dispise in my opinion...
So as I said, today, May 25th, 2007 school has ended for summer. Today, I give up my last day as a sophomore, say good-bye to several friends, memories, and moments, and least of my favorite ideals I say good-bye to what I had before I left that school. I had my own freedom, you know? Happiness in a sense as well... I had to leave that behind, to float around in the corridors of DCHS and mingle in through the air conditioning system to felter like some kind of mold in the shafters. To settle their and die, never be disturbed, only inhaled to whomsoever steps within that school next. Maybe they divulge in the happiness I left behind at that school.
Completion. I may not be a senior yet, but I've had to say goodbye to so many. They will not be at the lunch table next year. I've said good-bye. I'm still bitter...
I spent the last 3 hours of school in the cafeteria with my boyfriend for the last two days. Probably the most enjoyable moments of my life, especially the seldom moments when we were alone and I got to loosen up to my fullest extent. Be what I can't be on the phone or when others are around. He enjoyed that so much... I think I enjoyed it too much. I was bitter when the bell rang and told me that Father Time was willing and ready to kick my a** at any time. And I'd be damned if he doesn't win everytime...
Maybe that's what has me so unhappy... I want to win once...
I have about 2 years left in me for high school. That childhood I tried to strangle every breath from, the one I never had, has already managed to squeal it's last breath and slip through my fingers like playdoh. You keep squeezing but the stuff keeps slipping through the cracks, oozing away so that you begin to cry and wish to God you could really eat the stuff. Make it stay in you forever... Too bad it has such an awfully salty taste... Childhood, like playdoh, is sometimes a dish best not served... Better to mold it and let it sit...
So I ask you, what hurts more? Those endings that are so perfect it almost seems to snatch a piece of you away in return, or those that leave you in tears because it was not the way it planned.
"I don't know what hurts worse. The physical pain itself, or the fear from it all... Either way, the tears mean it won't stop stinging. And the stinging means that what I feel, for once is real..."
Even worse, I hate when things don't end badly. They end much too perfectly, and leave you feeling like it all went by so abruptly it snatched away a piece of you. That, is an ending to dispise in my opinion...
So as I said, today, May 25th, 2007 school has ended for summer. Today, I give up my last day as a sophomore, say good-bye to several friends, memories, and moments, and least of my favorite ideals I say good-bye to what I had before I left that school. I had my own freedom, you know? Happiness in a sense as well... I had to leave that behind, to float around in the corridors of DCHS and mingle in through the air conditioning system to felter like some kind of mold in the shafters. To settle their and die, never be disturbed, only inhaled to whomsoever steps within that school next. Maybe they divulge in the happiness I left behind at that school.
Completion. I may not be a senior yet, but I've had to say goodbye to so many. They will not be at the lunch table next year. I've said good-bye. I'm still bitter...
I spent the last 3 hours of school in the cafeteria with my boyfriend for the last two days. Probably the most enjoyable moments of my life, especially the seldom moments when we were alone and I got to loosen up to my fullest extent. Be what I can't be on the phone or when others are around. He enjoyed that so much... I think I enjoyed it too much. I was bitter when the bell rang and told me that Father Time was willing and ready to kick my a** at any time. And I'd be damned if he doesn't win everytime...
Maybe that's what has me so unhappy... I want to win once...
I have about 2 years left in me for high school. That childhood I tried to strangle every breath from, the one I never had, has already managed to squeal it's last breath and slip through my fingers like playdoh. You keep squeezing but the stuff keeps slipping through the cracks, oozing away so that you begin to cry and wish to God you could really eat the stuff. Make it stay in you forever... Too bad it has such an awfully salty taste... Childhood, like playdoh, is sometimes a dish best not served... Better to mold it and let it sit...
So I ask you, what hurts more? Those endings that are so perfect it almost seems to snatch a piece of you away in return, or those that leave you in tears because it was not the way it planned.
"I don't know what hurts worse. The physical pain itself, or the fear from it all... Either way, the tears mean it won't stop stinging. And the stinging means that what I feel, for once is real..."
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