a lot has changed since i lat wrote in my journal....I was rejected by a guy i was really into and that i cared about, I got fired from my job because i rather not get killed by riding my bike on the highway during a storm, I have been tired a lot and have once again, nothing to do with my time. about the guy though, he was already taken, told me his relationship was going down the drain and that he was into me as well. then it just turned out, after all the leading on he did, he was still in love with her. I feel like a f*cking idiot. I feel like I should have seen it coming. I feel like..... maybe I was kidding myself. I was hoping too much? Dreams cant always be real right? since that night I have not seen his Zippo for a while. its lost a bit of value. before i was a little obsessive in a way. I couldn't sleep without knowing where it was. I felt i needed to talk to him a lot...but now it is more like...we are just friends now. The things i thought about before aren't what i think about now. actually it seems i have less and less to think about these days. at least my art is still good. I just don't have anything to do with my time anymore. i wish i was in school again. I want to go back to college because I am pretty much wasting my life not being there. or it feels like i am. how the hell will i make 5000$ before September? Gah.
Adiiru · Tue Jun 05, 2007 @ 02:43am · 0 Comments |