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i'm gonna be honest with all of you ...i'm upset... i found out thatone of my best friends ever here on gaia and in real life has been writing about me behind my back this entire time....and it's not ok... i'm not ok...
he said in his note seen by now by about a hundred thousand people...that i focussed solely on him romantically, and that i bugged him all the time, that i was a bother essentially...and that he wanted to tell me off, but simply b/c we were " such good friends" he didn't have the heart to...
how could he do something like this ? it made him sound so spiteful and hateful. i have a very good heart, and all i was doing with him was making sure that he knew i cared and that i would always be his friend and be there for him whenever he needed an ear to listen to him... i do it with all my friends. and this year when he went away, i offered to help him in any way i could. justby buying him the basic essentials that he may need like shampoo or deodorant..ya no..simple stuff. or if he needed help with money, i would be willing to give him as much as i could to help him out while he was away trying to gain an education. he gladly gave me his mailing address and phone number. he isn't the only one on this earth i told this to. you see, i'm i spose...a bit more mature for my age and so therefore i basically have all my friends older than me, and last year they all left me.i felt all alone. but i told every single one of them when they left me to go to school that i would be here for them, that if they needed help or simple things, i would be here for them. i'd check up on them by phoning them, and i did the exact same thing for him as i did with my other friends. i guess though that i'm just too generous and i'm an awful person for being so. i'm not sure what to do with him now...if i had known that he had said these things about me behind my back...i never would have asked him to go to my prom with me or even be involved with me... since he has such a huge problem with me in the first place. i'm lost now, and not sure what to do. what do you do when a friend does this ?... what do i do ?... i'm frickin torn... i must be such a joke... now i wonder how many of my friends say this about me behind my back...my trust is gone in not only him, but everyone i have come to know... he has no idea...none... and if he has the slightest bit of empathy for what he's done, i would hope he voices it and tries damn hard to convince me ... but at the moment i just don't care about anything... nuthing to me...nuthing...pathetic...

all i ever wanted was for him to know that everything i do i give my HEART and my SOUL ...