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Confessions of an Unquiet Mind
The brain droppings of an overly-creative Anglophile and future zookeeper.
Some Vet Tech Humour
A quasi-faithful representation of your average Veterinary Technician, only the scrubs are cleaner and her hair is neat.

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She looks fit to kill because...well, after a morning like she's had, you would be, too. She's been carrying around that coffee mug since she got in at 7 a.m. and still hasn't had time to hit the breakroom for a fill-up. The baseball bat is for using on those damn dogs that HAVE NO BLOODY TRAINING! Staff morale has gone up considerably since baseball bats became standard equipment at the clinic.

The cats attached to her head and back affixed themselves there during an office call when they managed to wiggle away from the people holding them and sought refuge from sharp, pokey things on our LVT. She's very thankful right now for the endorphins which are coursing throughout her body, dulling the pain of thirty-six sharp claws firmly embedded in her flesh. Trying to remove them by force would result in chunks of flesh being removed along with the cats. Our Vet Tech plans to help herself to some morphine from the drug cabinet later, after she figures out how to fudge the records the clinic has to keep for the DEA.

The puppy by her feet is a little s**t who's boarding while his owners are away on a cruise. The dog is almost totally untrained because, unsurprisingly, the owners haven't a clue what they're doing and haven't taken the time to learn. The bloody furball refuses to stay in his cage so the clinic staff, in the interest of saving themselves precious time, have simply shut him in a storage room with one corner covered with newspapers.

The chick is one of the ten which were dropped off last night by someone who thought it would be cool to keep chickens in their suburban split-level home. Two weeks later, they're not so keen on the idea anymore so they dumped the chicks off at the clinic. One of the kennel people lives near a farm and will be taking the chicks with her when she goes home tonight. <br /><br />The arrow on her head is a silent plea for someone to, please, shoot her and put her out of her misery. With the kind of day it's been, she knows she's going to be there at least two hours after closing doing lab work she hasn't had time for yet that day and there's an emergency tooth extraction yet to be done, and then there's that Cocker Spaniel with the raging ear infection caused by bacteria so funky no one's allowed near the dog without gloves on. If she's out by ten p.m., she'll be doing good and she has to be back at seven the next morning.

The last client of the day asked our LVT if she ever planned to go to college. When our LVT informed the person that they had been to college, the person asked what kind of classes you needed to learn how to hold animals and show clients into exam rooms. Our LVT rewarded herself later with a pint of Haagen Daaz for not beating the person down.






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_Adinasi_
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commentCommented on: Wed Aug 01, 2007 @ 01:09am
Lawl. I Love it. It's cool you wanna be a zookeeper. I'm planning on being a verterinarian, preferably at zoos. look at that. smile biggrin


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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