Crickets are explosive. If you set fire to a cricket, they will explode. They destroyed 3-mile Island with their cricket-explosiveness. If you see a cricket, run. There's only one way to protect yourself from crickets, and that is with armor made from human skin. So, if you have neighbors you don't like, skin them and use their hide as armor, or sic a trained cricket on them and watch the fireworks.
On a serious note, I've gotten messages from people complaining that this stuff doesn't work. Is this a joke? There are people out there who think they can control pudding with their mind, or make an airship called the 'French Monkey'? These things don't exist. But, in case they do, I claim them all for myself right here. So all Hanidesleote wannabes and Pijoxran fans, shoo.
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Um yeah, shoo! Like he said! scream