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It really makes me feel 10x worst when he gets mad at me cuz its not just a little bit of mad its really mad. Frustration doesn't seem like that kind of anger at all. So I make stupid mistakes a lot of them and I can't ever be forgiven for them it seems. They can be stupid ones too like I accidently took back all the gift boxes for his contest that I didn't even know he was doing in the first place. It's like all the things I get mad at him take time to really make me angry. I just hate it when people tease me with what I said. I haven't been able to speak properly since I was a baby. Ok sorry that I was born with my tongue stuck to the bottom of my mouth. I'm sorry I'm a screw up and everyone should be better off without me. You know if I lose him I'm screwed. Sometimes I think he goes online just to talk to other people. Ok so I'm also scared to death of becoming mentally insane or schriozphonic like my mom. That worries me and I try to be normal but I do confess I have a obessive complusive disorder. I used to juggle tennis balls around in my foster homes and at school because I was tired of life. I was tired of always knowing that everything didn't turn out right. I didn't turn out right. Yea I met someone online so what. A long time ago parents freaked out about meeting strangers that came walking through towns. I'm just really not in a good mood. I always get yelled at for stupid things. Mostly things I'm not told about and then they get mad at me for it.