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Days are winding down....I feel like I could be sick because of it....


But then again, I've felt sick all day yesterday... sweatdrop Obvious reasons stated in 3.


Party is today. I'm excited about it, but I'm sad too. It's a going away party, and I don't want to go away...I thought I was going to cry typing that, but it was just a sneeze. xD Still, the me feeling sick part is still here.


At this point, I don't know how much of the TeniMyu music can save me now....I haven't done anymore packing as of the other day. Today there won't be much because of the party, but tomorrow it's going to hit hard. I'm going to the band picnic to say bye to everyone else that I didn't invite to the party. I would have, but then realized that there would be close to 20 people, so I just decided on the close senior friends....and Mr. Vrieze. xD


I still don't know how to feel about the me moving thing. I read M-chan and how she was crying two weeks away and the first thing that came to my mind was "Aww...M-chan~ I must have no soul." >>'''


I guess the emotional part of me was shot. I can't really say I don't remember the last time I cried over something big, because I cried for an entire week, if not more. The latest one was over Wolf's Rain, and that's not that big thing. Horribly sad though. xD I guess that if I cry over an anime, I just need to stop. >>


I plan on wearing eye makeup atleast so that way it'll remind me not to cry. That, and I want to be remembered being pretty...er. xD I want to wear my corsette, but I think Mom would have a heart attack, and the last thing I need before I move is for Mom to keel over. >>


She did however find the tarot cards, but that was partically my fault. I had them out, and when we started packing she decided to pick up dirty clothes and found them. They're now in a shoebox with my change, and they will be moved to the suitcase with all my clothes. I'll put them next to the hidden corsette. Haha.


I'm just kinda looking around my room...It's a mess from the packing, but again, organized. Everything is in a pile at the foot of my bed. The obituaries on my mirror are slightly yellow-ish. My door. No other words are needed for my door if you've seen it. Room still faintly smells of paint. All my stuffed animals. My bed. My flying carpet queen sized bed...I was going to say it's taller than Taylor, but I don't think it is now that I think about it. If it's not it's close. My now empty book shelf, with the exception of my manga which I put back up, which will only come back down if I plan on taking them. My room is practically my dorm room twice, probably three times. More thoughts of tears, but just sneezes. My closet is still a mess, but it was never clean to begin with, and my bathroom still has the pink-stripped wallpaper. I see stuff that I need to return, and stuff I plan to keep as a joke. Sam's Level C needs to go back, along with Eli's anime collection. I still need to find Vol. 1 of Love Mode before my mom does.


This entry has deep meaning to it, and yet I still can't find tears like M-chan can. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I can't remember if Kelly cried when she moved. I don't know how moving is going to effect the relationship I have with my brother, whether it's going to be for the better or the worse. I'm impatient with him, I always have been, and now moreso than I ever have because of the moving. I didn't realize that I was untill Mom pointed out that I was. Sadly, I don't feel bad about it, because I've always treated him like that. I know that makes me a horrible person, but I can't help it. And it's not like he can stop being mentally disabled either. Perhaps being apart will do us good. I love my brother, don't get me wrong, but again, I'm impatient.


Yet there are still no tears. Heh, I am a horrible person I guess. Tell me wrong.


Heh. Longest one of these entries I'm thinking, and the day has barely even started. I can only imagine what 1 will be like.


And I am no longer happy about Bob....I'm in so much pain I can't sleep...and it's 4:07...*cries and tries to find a heat pad*

~~~

Party just ended. Twas fun. x3


I'm a little upset that Eli didn't show....okay, very upset that she didn't show....Hopefully she has a good reason. I called her and left a message, so maybe she'll call back.