Am I insane? Sure, why not, let's go with that. Wanting to be loved on the inside, but keeping a hard rock shell on the outside. Insane? Hardly. But, believe what you want. I tell the world around I don't need anyone. Anything. That I am going to be alone till I die. And that I want it like that. Part of me does, though! I want that alone feeling, that "I can take care of myself" persona. I love that feeling, and it empowers me to do more on my own.
To be my own person.
But something, that little girl inside me, wants a "love" to call her own. All around me my friends are happy with the ones they want. Nina, Margaret, Fuma, Dom, Vince...they all have someone. SOMEONE! And I'm left alone. Telling them I'm fine, when honestly. Truely I feel left out.
I feel alone.
I feel like I need to find someone.
Maybe it's just the Simon Says Syndrome. I call it the SSS. It's where you want to do something, or be something, or get involved with something just because everyone around you is.
Maybe I'm in the boat. Maybe I'm not and I really do want someone. But do I need someone to make me happy? Shouldn't I be able to make myself smile? Make myself cheerful? Make myself feel like I'm important?
Do I really need someone else to do that for me?
Maybe I do...it seems like everyone else does.
Someone stop the world and let me get on. I'm ready to join the game called love. Like it, or not.
~Kella
Inspirational Discharge · Mon Aug 13, 2007 @ 12:22am · 0 Comments |