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A month or two ago I mentioned my dad having trouble again?

The past 2-3 weeks he's been in and out the hospital a few days a week with an infection, running tests, etc. Finally they found that the infection is in his intestines, which has holes in it. x-x; So, the hospital has been working on trying to figure out what to do, and on Sept. 10th, (Coincidently, my sis' birthday) he's going in to have it fixed. Assuming of course the hospital appointment this week goes well, and he's deemed healthy enough to go in for surgery.

*Sigh* He spends 3-4 days a week either in the hospital or at the doctor's office. His health is quickly degrading, and the stress is eating me alive. Apart from the entirely helpless feeling that I'm stuck states away with no way up to see him, much less be there for him, there's also the impossible eating away of my insides of the fact that of the time he's been sober (Since 'o4) I've seen him exactly twice, for a total of.. Um.. 4 days? And considering his health lately, my assumption that he's got maybe 5 years left is turning to optimism.

I wish I could just move up north already, and at least have some time with my dad. Because it's really just.. Destroying me to think he's going to die soon, and I'm missing on my chance to get to know the 'sober' him, and bond and have a father. But I don't have the money, and I don't have the time, and the soonest I can move is in the spring.

I'm a worrier. confused This is no exception. The stress of this coupled with all the other stress in my life has made my physically ill the past week and a half, and it's only getting worse. I really worry what could happen if it continues like this. All I have to hope and pray for is that somehow, he can get the surgery, things will get better, and I can have at least a little relief after the 10th.

Until then? Well, I'm just hoping my body doesn't give out.