I was reading my past journal entries, and wanted to kick myself in the ******** face for reading such ridiculous things. First of all, I got rid of all that s**t about Drew& I, I've come to a realization that I sometimes am clouded by bad judgment. Getting married to Drew was one of those period's of time. Since I have been living here in Lakewood, Washington. I've noticed that the man I thought I was marrying really wasn't the one I thought I was marrying. Does it make sense?
In other words, when I first met the man I was to marry, I thought he was something I didn't deserve. I gave up someone I'd have rather been with to waste my sorry little life with this guy. But when we got married, it was like everything changed. He was different, and I was not what he wanted me to be. I don't change. Not for anyone at least. I think that if you love me, you love me for who I am, what I do, and what I'm about. But not him. No... he wouldn't have me the way I was.
That's when I told him I was leaving. I am leaving. I cannot live with someone who is not willing to accept me for who I am, who I really am. Who is that? I'm someone who can be a total and complete c**t when im ragging. I can be a b***h when i'm hungry. I don't like to clean when commanded. I do my own thing, and sometimes, I like to be left the ******** alone. I like to spend time just laying there with someone in my arms, I like to be cuddled, held, and loved. I'm a someone that was not acceptable for him. And I don't. care. anymore. I'm going back to the person I shouldn't have left to begin with. If I have to wait, then so be it, the wait is worth it.
I want someone who can change me, without making me. I want someone who loves me unconditionally even when i'm being a c**t. I want someone to understand me. To love me with my imperfections with my flaws. & You are not it Drew. I'm sorry, but this is it.
I'm done.
&gaia, ******** your opinions. You don't mean s**t.
 [DerangedTechnicolor] · Sun Oct 21, 2007 @ 02:29am · 4 Comments |
![[DerangedTechnicolor]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/b2/cc/2655669619ccb2.png?t=1527124627_6.00_11 "[DerangedTechnicolor]")
